Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Once again I find myself starting a blog post off with…Wow! It’s been a really long time since I shared here! And once again I find myself thinking of John Lennon’s words, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” And what’s that old joke? “If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans!” These past few years I’ve had to reach total and complete acceptance of the fact that I simply no longer can make plans with any real knowing that they will actually come to fruition and be made manifest in my human reality. It just hasn’t worked that way in my life for a very long time. I trust that there’s a good reason for that in what I call the Bigger Picture. I’ve come to understand that often our soul choices take precedence over our human ones and that’s just the way it is. I get it that I agreed to this and signed up for this before I incarnated in this particular human lifetime I am living. (Though I must admit that I also sometimes wonder…what in heaven’s name was I thinking????!!! lol)
This year of 2018 will mark 5 years since my life changed radically and irrevocably when my youngest child, my son Tim, surprised all of us who loved him by unexpectedly exiting his physical body at age 27. 15 months later my very dear longtime partner Ziggy also checked out from the life he had been living and sharing with me here on Earth. I have lost numerous loved ones over the course of my life so I speak from personal experience when I say that losing someone close to us through physical death likely has the greatest impact that any type of experience can have on our human reality. Losing more than one person within a short period of time greatly magnifies everything that grief and loss require of us on the human level. We end up ultimately having to reinvent and redefine ourselves since the person we previously were in relationship to the loved one(s) no longer part of our physical reality does not exist anymore. So ultimately the journey of grieving a lost loved one is also a journey of metamorphosis since we have to give birth to an all new way of being in the world for ourselves and this requires much internal growth and change. This is the journey that I’ve personally been on these last few years.
As the light at the end of my own long dark tunnel continues to get stronger and brighter, I am finding that I feel very good about the person I have become as a result of my sojourn through the complicated process of grief and its aftermath. My human reality looks nothing like I once thought that it would at this stage of my life and I’ve learned to not only accept that but to enjoy the all new experience of what is, rather than focusing on the unchangeable what isn’t. Instead of fearing the unknown I’ve come to see it as a grand and exciting adventure. My future is a blank canvas and I know that I have an incredible array of a vast spectrum of vibrant colors at my disposal with which to paint my life into an all new creation. I call those colors “potentials” and my paintbrush is my consciousness.
My consciousness has expanded in leaps and bounds over these last years of learning how to live again after such deep loss. And while my human self would have much preferred to have skipped the grief and pain that was the catalyst for so much of that, I know that pain-free living doesn’t always offer the same opportunities.
On the day that my daughter and I had both flown from our separate locations to Corpus Christi where Tim was first hospitalized after having been found collapsed on the ground in the extreme Texas heat and humidity he had been working in all day, we clung tightly to each other in shock and disbelief when we saw him lying completely unresponsive in the coma he never woke up from, his body hooked to a wide array of beeping and blinking machines. How could this be happening to this amazing guy who was so well loved and so full of life and truly the light of our lives? It was extremely surreal. I held it together as long as I could in his ICU room and then took a break to seek out the quiet of the hospital’s chapel. I was grateful that it was empty when I got there and remained that way as I sobbed my heart out in the front pew. And then I felt a presence with me and had the unmistakable feeling of hands being softly placed on my shoulders from behind. There was no one there physically but I recognized the beautiful and very familiar energy of one of my closest and dearest nonphysical friends…the entity known to me in this lifetime as Tobias. I had first “met” him during the bleak winter following my husband’s death at age 38, when I was living in the unfinished “dream house” we had been building together out in the Connecticut woods, single parenting my 3 young children who were deeply grieving the loss of their father. On yet another sleepless night in February after having literally cried out in despair for “anyone out there who can help me,” I had received the inner guidance to open my bible at random and read whatever I opened to. I happened to have a Jerusalem bible that had been gifted to me by the spiritual group I was a part of when my mother had died when I was 16. The Jerusalem bible contains all of the books that were later seemingly arbitrarily removed by the Nicene Council, including the Book of Tobit. At just past 2am on that long winter night I opened to the very first page of that Book of Tobit, which I had never heard of before. It seemed to be more of a story than anything else, all about Tobit, his wife Anna, and their son Tobias. I read the whole thing and found myself feeling calmer and more peaceful than I had in a very long time and I had no idea why this previously unknown to me bible story would affect me that way but it did and I was grateful. Some years later a friend sent me a channel that she thought I might be interested in that she had come across herself. It was a message from a Being called Tobias and I loved it. As I sought out more information on Tobias, I found that the channeler, Geoffrey Hoppe, had had a close connection to him from that lifetime recorded in the Book of Tobit and was said to have been Tobit’s son Tobias then. I could feel my own close connection to this wonderfully benevolent Being and years later in a reading I had with another channel, it was affirmed to me that I had also been a part of that lifetime, and Tobit, now known in channeled form as Tobias, and I knew and loved each other well, then and now. Tobias has continued to be one of my own frequent interdimensional visitors through the years and I truly love our connection to each other.
So on that incredibly painful and challenging August day, the 8/8 Lions Gate, as I cried alone in the Corpus Christi chapel, feeling Tobias’s energy with me was very welcome, even if I didn’t want to hear the message he was clearly communicating to me. What he said ever so gently as I felt the pressure of those unseen hands on my shoulders was “You know you both agreed to this.” I knew he was referring to me and Tim having made an agreement on the soul level to experience exactly what was happening right now during this lifetime. And while I certainly did not want to hear it at that moment in time, I knew it had to be true even if I didn’t understand then why we would have agreed to something like this. Tim had been like a ray of sunshine to just about everyone who encountered him since his dramatic entry into the world when he had nearly died due to the umbilical cord being tightly wrapped around his neck and the fetal distress that had caused. My husband’s eyebrows literally turned white on the day of Tim’s birth since he inadvertently had witnessed the medical team’s desperate attempts to resuscitate the limp and blue newborn they had whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit so fast that I had to ask if the baby I had just given birth to was a boy or a girl. As soon as it was noticed that the baby’s dad was witnessing the extreme measures being taken to get his newly born son to breathe, the curtain was pulled tightly closed, but not before Tim’s stressful arrival was marked forever on his dad’s previously dark eyebrows.
Fortunately Tim amazed the NICU staff with how quickly he bounced back from his near fatal arrival onto Planet Earth. 4 hours after his precipitous delivery, a smiling nurse wheeled his bassinet into my room and handed me Tim for our first connection with each other outside of my womb. As she did so, the Country Western Christmas special airing on the only television channel with reception in my hospital room had just finished playing a religious song I had never heard before that touched me. The chorus was stuck in my head and still plays there sometimes all these years later, always reminding me of Tim’s birth. It went “The Father gave the Son, the Son gave the Spirit, the Spirit gives us life that we can give the gift of love. And the gift goes on, the gift goes on…”
Tim’s life was a gift of love to me and so many others and I knew that from the first moment I was given him to hold in that hospital room. He was 4 years old when his dad died and I began my journey as a single mother, which was often a very challenging path to walk, and yet Tim, “the baby,” was so often a source of love, joy and laughter that lit my way through the darkness. He was so giving and was constantly surprising me with childish bouquets of handpicked wild flowers or pictures drawn especially for me to show how much he loved me. For years he kept up the tradition he had enjoyed sharing with his dad of making me breakfast in bed on my birthday and Mother’s Day and it often brought tears to my eyes. Once he was old enough to get an allowance he often spent it on buying me little gifts, and as I said to my daughter after his passing, he so frequently gave me angels throughout his years on Earth, in all different shapes and forms from candles to little jewelry boxes to planters for my gardening. Thinking back on it since his physical death, I’ve had to ponder whether some part of him always knew he would be leaving his human life as Tim earlier than most others do and he wanted to plant that seed of heavenly connection between us in preparation. I still have the little round plastic container with the beautifully embossed logo on the lid sitting on my dresser that once held fragrant lotion that was part of the “Heavenly Love” bath collection he gave me for Christmas one year. It now holds a collection of baby teeth from all 3 of my children’s early years as well as some other prized mementos of special moments.
Tim was pretty much fearless and lived his life with so much sheer joy and absolutely grand gusto. As I’ve said to numerous people since his passing, he packed more living into those short 27 years than most people ever do who live 3 times as long. I used to joke that my premature grey hairs all had Tim’s name on them as his own fearlessness was often a catalyst for worry among those of us who loved him and lived with considerably less wild abandon than he did. My daughter loved her younger brother, who was also her best friend, so very deeply and would frequently share her worries with me about him doing things like driving alone in snowstorms on dangerous roads to go snowboarding by himself when no friends were able to accompany him. (Once on his way back from a day in Santa Fe that we had both warned him he shouldn’t drive to because of the dicey road conditions, which he ignored, he called his sister on his way home in the dark driving south on I-25 telling her excitedly that he had just passed a bad accident in which one of the cars involved was on fire. She politely requested that he hang up and focus on his own driving and tell her about it when he was home safe. lol) In one of our tearful conversations after his passing, she told me that she thinks a part of her also always knew that he was going to check out early since she was always worried about something happening to him. We both laughed through our tears at how ironic it was that he left via a heatstroke suffered at the end of a full day of work rather than through one of his daredevil adventures.
And that’s pretty much the crux of my sharing here. It appears to me that on some level beyond his conscious human awareness, Tim always knew he wasn’t here on Earth in this lifetime for a long duration. That’s why he embraced life as much as he did and packed as much into his as he possibly was able to, sharing the joy of it with as many people as he could along the way. He was extremely well loved and his physical presence is extremely well missed…by me, his sister and brother, and everyone else he touched along the way of his life’s journey. And while as his mother I have quite understandably had to walk the very painful path of grief over his seemingly very premature departure, I also have had to acknowledge that what my nonphysical friend Tobias said to me in the chapel in Corpus Christi is true. On the soul level, we both knew he wasn’t going to live a long lifetime, and even with that knowing, we both also agreed to share this lifetime with each other, not just in spite of this but because of it. As souls we both knew about his early leaving and our love for each other was so great that we decided it would still be worth it to share this human experience because we could see with our beyond human eyes how many people would be touched by Tim’s living, loving, and dying, and many of those would be people who never met him in person but have simply encountered the bigness of his Being through my writing and sharing.
“And the gift goes on, the gift goes on…”
And so it does! As I’ve finally begun to emerge from that long dark tunnel of grief I’ve been in since Tim’s transition out of his body, the gift of his life and death becomes clearer and clearer to me. It’s all about the joy of truly, deeply and viscerally comprehending that love is eternal and never ever ends, no matter what realm or dimension one’s consciousness and energy may be occupying.
It took me a full year to be in the place to be able to put a headstone up on my husband’s grave after he died. To say that I was overwhelmed being his 34 year old widow and now the single mom to our children who were just 9, 7 and 4 years old when he transitioned would be quite the understatement. There were so many different and often conflicting feelings I had to navigate my way through before I was in the place to truly be able to honor who he was in life and what he had meant to so many of us who loved him so very much (just like with Tim!). After much pondering and inner reflection, I finally settled on the simple epitaph “Love is Eternal.” All these years later I know it was an inspired choice and definitely the right one.
I have fallen more and more deeply in love with my husband, Dickie, and also with my partner, Ziggy, since they each passed out of this physical life and into the realm of spirit. They each connect with me and visit with me often, in their own uniquely beautiful ways. We laugh together frequently and I continue to be absolutely thrilled when they each find ways to show me how much they love me and continue to be quite present with me in my human reality, even while no longer being in human form themselves. And Tim? Suffice it to say that I am constantly blown away by how continually present he is and how my joy in our love for each other keeps exponentially expanding more and more and more. His sense of humor remains fully intact and I swear that he absolutely delights in coming through to me in ways that often precipitate side splitting laughter. One case in point is an anecdote I recently shared on Facebook about how it seems that one of the most common ways for our departed loved ones to continue to interact with us is by manipulating electricity. Tim has done this numerous times and in multiple ways since his passing and the more I’ve become aware that it is him connecting with me in this way, the more it occurs. Last fall I was texting with his sister about the decline in health of a philodendron plant that had been Tim’s and which ended up with her for the past few years after I headed to Canada for my last summer there with Ziggy. She wanted to give it back to me to care for since it wasn’t looking good and she said she’d feel terrible if it died while in her care. I didn’t want her to feel bad about it so I said that I was sure that wherever Tim was, he really didn’t care anymore about a plant. I then reached over to switch on my bedside lamp in the growing dusk, a little lamp in the shape of an elephant that Tim had given me one Christmas after my last return from South Africa, and the light bulb instantly blew. I burst out laughing and had to text my daughter back and tell her that apparently Tim does still care about the plant so to bring it over the next time she visited. She thought it was hilariously funny too. The plant is now back to robust health and thriving and I even was able to root a cutting and give her a new baby philodendron from Tim’s plant for Christmas.
And the gift goes on, the gift goes on!
And now I’ll share one last story about my exploration of this new frontier of expanded consciousness and interdimensional connecting before I touch on Imbolc and dear Brigid’s latest message in closing this lengthy post. (I’m obviously warming up to get back to writing the book that got abandoned by the wayside for a while!) In my transition from my old life with Ziggy to my new solo life, I’ve been living in an apartment in Albuquerque. Apartment living is definitely not my favorite or preferred cup of tea, but it has served its purpose as far as me being able to be close to my daughter and older son as we’ve all had to grieve and adjust to life without our beloved Tim. One Saturday afternoon this past fall while I was at home in my apartment, I was feeling particularly spacey, which is often the prelude for me to interdimensional visiting.
One of the positives of this particular large apartment complex I’m living in is that it’s situated on 37 beautifully landscaped acres of grounds full of both deciduous and evergreen trees. It’s pet-friendly and so there are always people out walking around with their dogs. I frequently take my neighbor’s dear old 4 legged friend Mac (short for McLovin’ :-) ) out when I’m home while he’s working and I enjoy it immensely. Since my bedroom window faces west and gets the afternoon sun, I often enjoy the view from there. On this particular afternoon in October the many deciduous trees I have a view of from my window were just nearing their peak of autumn color and I was completely captivated by their gorgeous and glorious beauty. I pulled a chair over and put my feet up on the windowsill and proceeded to simply bask in my enjoyment. Since there’s also a parking lot beneath my window, I noticed that as people were getting in and out of their cars many were looking up at me as I sat looking out. I’m aware that I’m an anomaly as far as apartment living goes as most people keep their blinds tightly closed at all times so my open to the sunshine all day windows are not the norm to begin with. My actually sitting in front of the large window and gazing out on the view obviously took things one step farther. After a number of strange stares up at me I started laughing, thinking to myself how my neighbors must think I’m a pretty weird old lady to be sitting in the window watching the leaves change color and the world go by. As I sat there laughing to myself I suddenly heard in what was distinctly my husband Dickie’s laughing voice…”Old Mrs. Quinn!!! Old Mrs. Quinn, that crazy old lady, is sitting in the window watching everyone as they go by!” There was a tone of such laughter in his voice that made me very aware that he was joking and he then proceeded to tell me that I am one of the most young-in-spirit people who lives on this planet which was what made my line of thinking so funny to him.
Soon I had Tim joining in as well. He also found the “Old Mrs. Quinn” moniker hysterically funny and his comments had me laughing out loud…in a room that I was physically alone in. lol Often when I am sliding through the dimensions interacting with those who are nonphysical, it feels like I’m stoned even though I haven’t indulged in smoking anything herbal. I shared with my company that that was how I was feeling and that was the springboard for one of the coolest experiences I have ever had.
Dickie reminded me of one of my best memories from our marriage that took place BC (Before Children!), an afternoon when we were driving back to Connecticut from one of our many trips to a place we both loved so much, Acadia National Park in Maine. We had a reservation to spend the night at the Peg Leg Inn in the beautiful little town of Rockport, Massachusetts, right near Gloucester and its famous statue of a New England fisherman. We both loved the ocean so much but neither of us were big fans of highly populated beaches so we were always on the lookout for places where we could enjoy the water together with no one else around. As we were heading into Rockport, I noticed that there was a huge cemetery right next to the road and I realized that it had to back up to the ocean. I pointed this out to Dickie and we both agreed it was worth checking out to see if we could find a spot where we could enjoy the Atlantic without other people around. We were successful in our quest and soon had discarded our shoes and rolled up our jeans to wade out to some huge boulders just offshore where we climbed up and sprawled out to enjoy the sunshine on our shoulders that, as John Denver sang, was definitely making us happy.
We also decided to enjoy some of the aforementioned herb as well. The combination of factors made that afternoon one of the best of my entire life and I still look back on it and smile broadly with the memory. Dickie was/is definitely a soulmate of mine and as such we could talk and laugh together nonstop for hours and we certainly did that day. We were completely in the present moment, relaxed and enjoying ourselves in one of our most favorite places in Nature (Dickie’s self-proclaimed “church”), the ocean, and since we were just a few minutes away from the Peg Leg and had a reservation, there was no hurry to move. So we didn’t, for hours.
Finally we realized we were getting hungry and the sun was beginning to set so we contemplated shifting gears and getting ourselves back to shore. Thus was birthed the question that would be a humorous touchstone for us for the rest of our time together in the physical. “Is the tide going out or is it coming in?!”
Neither of us had been paying attention since we were having so much fun. And neither of us was sure. But I thought that the water level beneath the boulders looked higher than when we first got there so I said I thought it was coming in. Dickie on the other hand was convinced that it was going out. We were pretty much doubled over with laughter as we debated the situation. As I became more and more convinced that it was coming in, I said he could sit there and contemplate it as long as he wanted to but I was heading back to shore before the tide got any higher. Stubborn Taurus that he was, he took his time thinking about it. And I couldn’t stop laughing when I reached the shore nicely dry and he eventually rocked up on it himself with his pants legs soaking wet a while later. With a charmingly sheepish grin he admitted that it looked like I had been right after all.
Yes indeed, that is one of my most priceless and cherished memories of my time with one-of-a-kind and most amazingly wonderful Dickie. As I’ve said, Tim was just 4 years old when Dickie passed on, though in spite of the short time they had on Earth together, they adored each other and were very close. I was working as a school nurse at our small town’s middle school the year before Dickie’s transition, and being a self-employed plumber, he would pick Tim up after his morning at preschool and bring him down to his parents’ house a couple of towns away for the afternoon, bringing him home with him when he finished his day. My older 2 kids in elementary school would take the bus to the middle school and meet me there at the end of my own work day. Tim loved to make his older siblings jealous by flaunting to them things like “Daddy bought me chocolate milk today…and PopPop gave me coffee cake!” lol (The battle against dairy and sugar began early at our house!)
Tim loved his father and missed him so much after his death that I have often wondered to myself how much of a part that played in Tim’s own early departure. They also each have let me know in our interdimensional visits how much fun they are having sharing experiences with each other now that they’re both in the nonphysical realms. So it didn’t surprise me that they showed up together to visit me on that beautiful October afternoon, but what happened next absolutely astounded me. As Dickie reminded me of that golden afternoon spent on the rocks in the ocean off the shore of that Rockport cemetery, I felt myself transported there via my consciousness and the altered state that I was in. Dickie was there with me in the form of his young and handsome and laughing self, and then I realized that Tim, who wasn’t even “a gleam in his father’s eye” at the time Dickie and I had that experience since he was #3 in the birth order, was there too in the form of his own young and handsome and laughing self which was just how he looked at the time he departed Earth. And that’s where the real magic began as for the rest of the afternoon while I was physically alone in my Albuquerque bedroom, I was sharing an absolutely amazing time with both Dickie and Tim sitting on those boulders in the sunshine off the coast of Rockport, Massachusetts. We talked and we laughed and we basked in each other’s company and the exquisitely beautiful setting just as Dickie and I had done all those years ago. And it was every bit as real to me as that experience was way back then.
Ahhh, the magic of accessing our multidimensional Selves and allowing ourselves the joy of experiencing that! It is absolutely amazing!!!
So now I do understand why Tim and I would have “agreed to this” on the soul level as Tobias reminded me in the Corpus Christi hospital chapel on that monumental Lions Gate day of 2013. We agreed to this because there is so much more to share than “just” human experiences with each other. I know we’ve done that countless times because we are so close on the soul level and we delight in sharing our experiences with each other, taking on so many different and diverse roles with each other as we do, and we always do so with such immense and truly unfathomable love. Now we are exploring brand new territory, sharing interdimensional experiences with each other while I’m here in body and he’s left his behind…and let me tell you, it’s a real trip! lol And we couldn’t have been these pioneers of consciousness together if he had stayed here in his physical body so now I understand more and more why he left it so soon and I agreed to the experience of being the loving and loved mother he left behind. Because I know now that none of us are ever “left behind” when we’re talking about love since it truly is eternal.
Another of my favorite Beings, Abraham as channeled by Esther Hicks, talks about the “cooperative components of the Universe” coming together to support us in our creation experiences as we allow that to happen. I now understand that all of those many loved ones of mine who departed this Earth before me are “cooperative components” to my own experience of doing what Jim Morrison and The Doors used to sing about doing…”Break on through to the Other Side!”
There is no “Veil” between worlds and dimensions to break through except for our own limited and programmed to be closed consciousness. When we open our consciousness, when we invite it and allow it, we can all easily “Break on through to the Other Side.” I encourage you to try it. The experiences can truly be beyond anything you have ever imagined and incredibly magical and profound!
I’m finishing writing this long post (after many long pauses since I began it!) on January 31, 2018 amidst the very potent energies of today’s Super Full Blue Blood Moon Eclipse in Leo. I was blessed to have a clear view of the eclipse when it occurred here in New Mexico early this morning and since then I’ve been feeling the impact of those Light Code gifts from it that are upgrading our very DNA. Tomorrow, February 1st, is the cross quarter day of Imbolc in the celestial “Turning of the Wheel” of the year in Celtic tradition. It is the midway point between the December Solstice and the March Equinox and it is also my dear nonphysical friend Brigid the ancient Celtic Goddess’s celebration day. I love Imbolc as its symbolism is of “The Returning of the Light” since we are now past the darkest and shortest days of the year here in the Northern Hemisphere and the days are becoming longer and more light-filled. For me personally the Returning of the Light is very symbolic as well since I finally do feel that the Light is returning to my life after years of dancing with the darkness of grief and loss on the human level. I recognize now that I truly haven’t “lost” anyone. Only the form of those I love has changed. Their essence is and always will be the same recognizable energy to me…and I will choose essence over form every time. Form will always shift and change and eventually die. Essence is constant and eternal.
Brigid and I shared an interdimensional visit recently. She said in her message that she was coming through as the “spokes-entity” for the Divine Feminine, saying that it’s also the energy of those other Divine Feminine representatives that I’m personally familiar with, like Our Lady of Guadalupe (my own “patron saint” in the Catholic tradition I was raised in since I was born on her 12/12 feast day) and Celestial Mary of the Stars and Wild Celtic Mary, all of whom have “spoken” through my voice, as well as the aspects of the Divine Feminine found in all of the other sacred traditions around the world. I can tell you it is truly a beautiful energy that comes in, often accompanied by the fragrance of roses (in the tradition of Our Lady of Guadalupe and the “miracle of the roses” that she performed during a cold December with the devout Juan Diego of Mexico several hundred years ago).
This is the message of the Divine Feminine as given to me by Brigid:
“Many see these times on your Earth as challenging, yet that is only in appearance. Chaos always precedes change. This is a time for returning to roots. It is a time for spreading the message that the fate of the world rests on each of you individually. As your much loved musician Neil Diamond sang, it is time to turn on your heart lights! It is a time to spread the love and spread the light. That is the greatest way to honor its “return.” You each do this in your own way by being true to yourselves. You each do this in your own way by living authentic lives. Each of you has different and unique gifts and it is meant to be this way. There is no competition on the spirit level, ever, and you are encouraged not to compete with each other in the area of your personal gifts and talents on the human level either. Each of you is encouraged to shine your light by doing what makes your own heart sing, and this is different for each of you. For some it is singing or playing music, for some it is creating music or art. For some it is painting pictures with words, as this one who gives voice to our energies does. For each of you it is time to step into your passion and your Mastery. It is time to utilize your individual gifts with love for that is what can and will change your world if you freely share your gifts from your beautiful hearts.
Imbolc is the celebration of the returning of the light as winter’s dark begins to recede here in the Northern Hemisphere. Symbolically, each of you is a part of the returning of the light to your planet, whichever hemisphere you may be residing in. This light is not going to be gifted to your planet from without. It is going to be turned on from within. Each of you must turn on your light. Our Lady of Guadalupe’s message is that all of you have the ability to have roses in December through choosing love and choosing light in your individual experiences. Celestial Mary of the Stars encourages you to follow the light energy of the stars. Allow that light to guide you in your lives. Wild Celtic Mary encourages you to live your passion! I, Brigid, will tell you that there are so many gifts to be had in following the celestial cycles, and my own message is simply to return to the light within. Keep those hearth fires of your hearts burning!
It is time. It is time to shine your light boldly. It is time to shine your light brightly. It is time to share your gifts and let your voice be strong. Let your voice be strong in whichever direction you are called to speak, to shine, to share. It is time to take back your world from those who have usurped the voice of the collective, from those who have sought to control through fear, from those who have turned away from the light within themselves. It is not a time to judge or condemn. It is simply a time to become autonomous in your own shining of the light, in your own sharing of it, and through your autonomy, through your living authentic lives, you will impact others. You will influence others. This is the way that the light will continue to become stronger and brighter throughout your world. It has a ripple effect, like the pebble thrown in the pond.
Encourage others to turn on their lights. Encourage others to encourage themselves and then to in turn encourage others as well. And from that place of authentic living, keep encouraging others in love by shining your own light.
Everything is shifting in this new energy world. Things are never going to be the same and this is a positive thing. This is the time that you have been awaiting and you are indeed the Ones you have been waiting for. Honor the Ancestors, but know that it isn’t the Ancestors who are going to save your world. It is the wisdom of the Ancestors that resides within you since each of you has been one of those Ancestors. Know that it is time to wake up, to share your gifts, to shine your light, and by being that bright candle in the dark, thousands and thousands of others can light their own candles from the flame of yours! Each of you can spread the light!
It is time to step forward boldly, courageously, forthrightly, and in joy! That is the message. Share the love and share the light! You are each blessed beyond measure! Now go out and share the blessings!
You are so dearly, dearly loved! And so it is! Aloha!”
Wishing each of you a beautiful celebration of the returning of the Light in your own lives! Love to each and every one of you from Old Mrs. Quinn! :-)
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
So said John Lennon in his song “Beautiful Boy,” a favorite of mine since it always makes me smile with how much love for his young son is so imbued in it. And the words are very true. Life does take its own course, no matter what we may have planned, and the only way to survive the unexpected twists and turns that so often result in major course corrections for us is to learn to flow with all that life offers up to us and not resist what we cannot control or change.
And I’ll be the first to admit that so often that is much easier said than done!
I’m sure that anyone who knows me, either personally or through what I share in my writing, knows that my own life has been far from average or ‘normal,’ whatever that word may mean anymore. Last summer I was very appreciative of having my phone call picked up for a “two minute reading” with Steve Rother during a monthly Lightworker broadcast. Steve has been channeling The Group for quite a lot of years and more recently a number of its individual entities as well. I have been tuning into the warmth and love and light exuded by Steve and his lovely wife Barbara for many years. In my brief reading with him, Steve succinctly stated that I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me on multiple different occasions but affirmed that I am doing wonderfully well in continuing to do what I came here to Earth during this incarnation to do. He said I’m most definitely a “lightworker” though I’m going about that lightwork in a very different way than most other lightworkers are. What he said certainly rang true and I continue to be grateful for that affirmation.
The rug being pulled out from under me on all those many different occasions has created the theme of my life and the path that I’ve followed to reach the place that I am standing in today on this 8-8 Lions Gate of 2017. And this theme is that death is the greatest illusion that there is. All the deaths that I’ve experienced in my life, each one pulling the rug out from under me once again with the next transition of someone I’ve loved dearly here on Earth, have taught me that death isn’t real. It is a change but not an ending. It’s actually a birth and a new beginning.
After I posted my last blog back in December of 2016, I intended to dive back into writing and sharing with renewed interest and enthusiasm. Yet life is what happened while I was busy making those plans. What an incredible time of transformation this is on our planet! I know I am not alone in having felt squeezed like a tube of toothpaste offering up its last dollop at times or as if my life was happening in a pressure cooker…or perhaps in a blender at its highest speed. This has continued often seemingly without ceasing or mercy, and yet finally as we walk through this incredibly powerful month of August with this year’s eclipse cycle coinciding with the Lions Gate, I feel like this is shifting. I feel as if I’ve been holding my breath for months, in spite of my continual reminder to myself to breathe, and now the blessed relief of a long, deep, slow exhalation is upon me. Hallelujah for that!
It’s not important that I share all that’s been happening in my personal life that has kept me so busy simply trying to maintain my own balance. What IS important is that I have, and now I feel myself coming out on the other side of a very long dark tunnel, one that I actually entered at age 10 when my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. She desperately wanted to continue living and stay here on Earth with the family that she loved so deeply, but alas back then there was no real understanding of what created disease, “dis-ease,” or what is necessary for living and enjoying a holistically healthy life.
My mother lived with cancer for 6 years before exiting her ravaged physical body when I was 16. The rest of our family lived with cancer too since it affected virtually every aspect of our lives. It was during those cancer years that I realized how different my life was from pretty much everyone else I knew. My reality was worlds apart from all of my friends and that only became more so when my father died 2 years after my mother from what I’ve always known was a broken heart at losing the love of his life as much as it was from the Parkinson’s Disease he had struggled with since even before my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
I married young to a man I dearly loved and then delighted in giving birth to 3 beautiful children. And then that rug was pulled out from under me again when I was 34 and the amazing man who was my husband also left his body after much struggle with what I’ve come to see were old ancestral patterns that most humans have to grapple with at one time or another. It’s simply part of being human.
There’s another song lyric that I have always loved since it has so aptly described my own life. It’s from The Eagles’ song “My Man” and the refrain is “And we who must remain go on living just the same.” Then the last line of the song adds “And we who must remain go on laughing just the same.”
So true too and aptly so! So my little family and I kept on living and laughing. And then 23 years after my husband’s departure, the unthinkable and unbelievable happened. My 27 year old son Tim, the baby of my brood, suffered a heat stroke on the eve of the 8-8 Lions Gate after working outdoors all day during a brutal Texas heat wave. We marked the 4 year anniversary of that very surreal day yesterday with the August 7 full moon lunar eclipse. In 2 weeks’ time we will mark the 4 year anniversary of his transition to the Great Beyond on the ‘black moon,’ the month’s 2nd new moon in Leo, which is also the rare mega total solar eclipse of August 21. Tim left us on the night of a full ‘blue moon’ so this year’s date coinciding with a black moon…as well as this powerful eclipse…feels very significant to me.
One would think that nothing else could possibly happen to change my life so drastically and irrevocably, yet just a few months after Tim’s passing yet another rug was pulled out from under me when my soul companion of the previous 9 years, Ziggy, was diagnosed with a massive spinal tumor that turned out to be malignant. He too left the planet 15 months after Tim’s departure.
What a painful life theme my soul seems to have chosen for me for this lifetime! And yet inevitably, “We who must remain go on living just the same. We who must remain go on laughing just the same.”
It’s taken me a long time to rebound after these last 2 losses in my life as it was of course quite necessary for me to experience all the emotions that go along with losing someone we love from our physical human reality. I’ve had to go even further and deeper within myself to survive these last few years than I ever have before. Grief is so often cumulative. Each individual experience of loss brings up the memory, often viscerally, of the losses that came before it. I honestly wasn’t sure I would be able to stay here on Earth myself after having to say goodbye to my much loved (by many more than just me) son and then so soon afterwards to the very unique man who truly ‘got me’ in all my seeming weirdness and unusual sensitivities to energies that were quite unfelt and invisible to pretty much everyone else. He loved me because of these things rather than in spite of them.
Life is a dance and often the music and the tempo and the beat of that dance change significantly as we move through our different experiences. And that’s a gift because each of those experiences moves us forward and beyond where we were previously. What I have found on my own life journey is that often it is the most devastatingly painful experiences and losses that offer us the greatest opportunities to grow and expand into more than we ever imagined that we could be or become. It seems that this is the ‘work’ that I’ve been about during this lifetime and I will happily accept Steve Rother’s description of it as ‘lightwork’ of a different and unique kind. I’ve come to accept that I’m here to blow the lid off of how death is presently perceived and understood. It really isn’t the finality that so many on Earth think that it is.
In the manuscript that I wrote after my husband died and then got too busy in the aftermath to ever seriously pursue publishing, I shared about how my first introduction to death came when my father’s mother, my Nana whom we shared a home with, died when I was 7 and she was in her late 80s. Nana had left Ireland alone at age 16 to sail to America and make a new and better life for herself. She was strong and independent and she definitely succeeded. I loved her most for the incredible mirth that always seemed to be dancing just below the surface of her being and gifted her with a very ready and easy ability to laugh, and for the twinkle that always seemed to be sparkling in her blue eyes.
My parents honored Nana’s wishes and she had a traditional Irish wake in the custom of her homeland. Her coffin was set up in our living room rather than in some cold and formal funeral parlor. Folding chairs extended the seating for all the people who came to ‘pay their respects’ and give her a grand send off. Food and drink were offered in abundance as people talked and laughed and told wonderful stories about her long life and all that she had experienced during it. I didn’t really understand what death was about at that young age but I felt relaxed and at ease with the way it was handled with my Nana’s passing. I am truly grateful that was my first experience with death as it assisted in shaping my future understanding that it is simply a normal part of life, even when it is a painful part of it. I think the Irish are on to something in knowing that a death is truly meant to be honored with a special kind of celebration.
As I was writing that about my dear Nana’s sendoff celebration to whatever came next on her soul’s journey, I realized that those of us who loved my son Tim gave him a modernized version of that good old Irish wake for his own ‘Celebration of Life’ sendoff 4 years ago. There was no coffin since we chose cremation for his beautiful young body but it seemed appropriate that the green Celtic urn that housed his ashes sat in a place of honor in the living room with his beloved Dallas Cowboys cap on top of it. Those that loved him did such an incredible job of making his own ‘Irish wake’ a loving tribute and sendoff for him, especially since I was so numb and in shock at the time myself that I couldn’t think, let alone pull together what was required for this to take place, which so many others so lovingly working together did. How grateful I was and continue to be for that! As a single mom of my 3 kids with no biological family living anywhere near us, I look back to Tim’s ‘Irish wake’ with awe and gratitude as I realize what a big and loving extended family he and we truly have here in New Mexico. I am sure that Tim was very present at that sendoff party we gave him and he loved every minute of it!
I am sure because he’s told me that, as well as many other things, in the conversations we’ve had since he departed this Earth and his physical body. Those conversations continue to be ongoing on a regular basis, as do the conversations with every one of my other departed loved ones as well as the nonphysical beings who are close to me and part of my own ‘soul family group’ who like to come and chat with me as well. These communications are, quite frequently, much more real to me than whatever else may be going on in my physical human 3D reality. 3D in short is now but a very small part of my own multidimensional experience of living. And I have to admit, I’m having a blast hanging out so often with so many incredible beings who simply are no longer inhabiting the Earth at present in physical form.
I am aware that, to many who don’t experience multidimensional reality to the same extent that I do, this might sound like a “Ground control to Major Tom” moment or as if I’ve truly lost my marbles. I have. lol The wonderful thing though is that those marbles are all present and accounted for, just in different dimensions than the one my physical body is currently occupying. I’ve learned that I don’t have to let having a physical body limit my expanded experiences of reality, just as I know my departed loved ones have learned that NOT having a physical body doesn’t limit their expanded experiences either, especially of interacting with me here on Earth.
This is the message that I’m being nudged to share with you today. Death is the greatest illusion there is. And once we can see through the illusion, we can continue living, loving and laughing with those who have left their bodies behind as much and as often as we desire. I kid you not. I do it all the time.
Our departed loved ones want to reach out and touch us too. They often simply have a hard time getting through the veils that our doubt and disbelief and holding on to the pain of grief put in place between the dimensions. The more we can release them, the easier it is for us to have magical experiences of love with those we love, regardless of what plane of existence their soul may be presently occupying.
I had such an experience last December on the eve of the Solstice. I had picked up my mail as I was coming home at sunset and was so touched to see that I had a package from Ziggy’s daughter in Canada. I knew it contained a very special Solstice gift she has been sharing with me for years that connects us in heart all year long (a beautiful We’moon day calendar that we know we are turning the pages of together even though doing so in different countries). I was feeling a multitude of emotions as I held that gift in my hands and decided to sit with them in my car in the otherwise empty parking lot outside of my apartment before going inside and breaking the spell I was feeling myself under. It was a very mild day and I wasn’t cold at all sitting in the car with the engine turned off. I opened the package and found tears slipping down my cheeks as I read the loving message it came with. My heart was overflowing and I felt Ziggy so close as I savored the love that I have for the daughter that he himself had loved so much while here on Earth and I know he continues to love from wherever his soul is now residing as he gets on with his eternal adventures. I wanted to do something in that magic moment to honor the love that I felt myself so palpably immersed in as I sat there in my car. I had picked up some groceries on my way home and I realized that the bottle of wine in the bag on the floor of the passenger side had a screw top rather than a cork. I also found my eyes resting on the baseball cap of Ziggy’s that was still pushed into the pocket of the driver’s side door where he used to keep it so he had it readily available when he was driving while we were out and about on one of our many shared excursions. Even though it had been over 2 years since he departed his physical form, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to remove the cap from the car. I liked it there and its presence comforted me as I can feel his essence and energy and therefore his company still in the hat.
On impulse, I spontaneously put on the cap and unscrewed the wine bottle, pouring a small bit of the red nectar into an empty water bottle. With a smile on my face and love overflowing from my heart, I toasted both father and daughter and thanked them for the joy they each have added to my life in all that we’ve shared with each other. Then I sat for a while with my left arm resting on the driver’s side door just below the window. As I did I began to notice that what looked like fog was forming on the window in a manner that didn’t match the mildness of the weather and that I couldn’t explain. As I watched mesmerized it seemed as if this mist was forming itself into what looked to me like pulsing feathers, as if it was actually breathing, in and out, in and out. Feathers have always been a sign to me of my connection beyond the Earth realms and I am always overjoyed when I find one in perfect timing as an affirmation of that connection. Now it seemed I had a living breathing affirmation happening on my car window right in front of my eyes. As I continued to watch the “feathers” reminded me of the “tongues of fire” that had been gifted to the apostIes by the Holy Spirit in the biblical Pentecost. It came to me that I was experiencing the “breath of spirit” in what I was seeing. I knew it was Ziggy reaching out to touch me in love and letting me know he was right there for my toast and toasting me back as well, just like old times. I sat watching this phenomenon for I have no idea how long. Time seemed suspended and standing still. And then my rational mind kicked in and I began to doubt. I thought that it must be that the warmth of my arm against the cooler glass was causing this. So I took my arm off the door and the phenomenon stopped. Then I put it back on to see what would happen. Nothing. Nothing happened. I waited and waited for the pulsing feathers of fog-like mist to reappear and they didn’t. I tried several more times. Nothing at all. I had blown the beautiful connection by letting my mind’s doubt overshadow the magic.
Ziggy later affirmed for me in one of his interdimensional visits that this experience definitely had been him reaching out to me in love. What an incredibly beautiful gift that was! More frequently the gifts that come to me from those no longer here on Earth are things like hearing a song that connects us or finding a penny (“pennies from heaven”) at exactly the perfect moment. They always bring a smile, sometimes a tear too, and I am always so thankful that those I love who’ve left their physical bodies behind continue to make their presence known to me.
Tim especially has a wonderful sense of timing as far as letting me know he’s near and I often find myself laughing out loud at his connections with me as it’s apparent that he still has the same wonderful sense of humor that he did when he was here in body. I love when he visits and I can feel his energy so strongly and clearly that I can then translate it into words and we can have ongoing conversations.
Tim’s most recent communication included him telling me how much he is “enjoying the eternalness of life” and the continual new and exciting experiences that being eternal offers. He wanted to remind everyone that being an eternal soul means that death is not something to fear. It only separates us from those we love if we are unable to allow ourselves to continue to feel the soul connection between us that goes way beyond the physical and never ends. Ever.
He asked, “When you are in the place to do so, share more with my friends and everyone interested about how truly ‘the veil’ IS an illusion and we can all continue to have ongoing relationships with each other regardless of ‘where’ we are, whether incarnated in a body living on Earth or choosing to experience the eternalness of soul living on any of the many, many other dimensional planes we have the option to enjoy. This is one of the greatest freedoms of being an eternal soul. Life doesn’t end and neither do our loving soul connections. We remain connected in love eternally and I want to encourage everyone to be aware of this and to consciously choose to open more and more to this awareness in tangible ways while still living your human reality. Yes, so many hurt when the physical disconnection of death happens and someone they love is gone from their human reality. And yet, death as an ending to that love experience shared is the greatest illusion of all for we all continue on and on and on and the love connection never ends. “
Tim then went on to talk about how “Oneness” actually means that there is no distance between any of us on the soul level. He said that “soul to soul communion and telepathy transcend any seeming distance between dimensional realities and make it disappear completely. When you commune on the level of soul there is never any separation so communication is instant and so is the soul response in love to it. “
How beautiful is that?!
We are each multi-dimensional beings, whether we are aware of that while living our human reality on Earth or not. The beautiful picture I have posted above is by the incredible visionary artist Gilbert Williams, whose art seems to me to be living magic and so imbued with the energy of the spirit realms. This is saved from one of his past calendars, which I then framed and have hanging on the wall opposite my bed. It serves as a focal point for me of the bridge between dimensions and I frequently imagine myself meeting those passed on loved ones of mine on that bridge.
The other night as I gazed upon it once again I was surprised when Tim’s energy and voice interrupted my reverie and he told me that we don’t just meet ON the bridge, we go back and forth over it all the time. He shared with me that I go all the way across the bridge to the other side of it often and visit the other realms and those I love there just as frequently as they come to visit me. I just am not consciously aware that I’m doing this when I return to my waking state. Making this trip is easy and natural, though it requires an altered state of consciousness from our usual mental human focus. We all have access to all the different dimensional planes and realities and the key that opens the door between them lies in our consciousness. This is what being a multi-dimensional being means.
Well how fun is that?! Talk about limitless opportunities for adventure and new experiences. How much more there is to what constitutes our “reality” than we have any idea of!
Tim asked me to pass on one more thing, this especially for those who have known and love him. He said it’s not an accident that this year’s eclipses fall on the 2 significant dates associated with his departure from the Earth plane as there is always an order to what is divinely orchestrated on the soul level and sacred geometry truly is at the core of all creation. He wants everyone who misses him here on Earth to think of the solar eclipse on the 21st as a grand celestial birthday celebration for him. He insists that, “It IS a birthday for me, the 21st of August. It was a birth for me into the remembrance of my eternal life and eternal beingness, so it will be a grand birthday party! Please join me for the celebration as the Great Central Sun gifts the Earth with so much incredible energy as this amazing event takes place!”
That boy sure did love a party and would use any excuse to get one going! lol This certainly feels like a perfect opportunity for an interdimensional party the likes of which has never been seen before. Tim promises to host and says the music will be out of this world so please come join him/us for this once in a lifetime rare eclipse/birthday party celebration! I’m sure it will be memorable. Just connect in spirit from wherever you are on the 21st and let’s see what kind of magic and surprises await us!
Till then, love and blessings to All!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Happy December and last month of 2016, this “9” year numerologically of endings and completions! We are nearly there now to the new beginnings that 2017, a “1” year (2+0+1+7=10 =1) offers up to us.
It has certainly been a while since the last time I shared in a blog post…13 months now. I have started more posts with the intention of sharing here than I can count, yet I never finished any of them and ultimately I simply had to let go and surrender to the personal process I was going through myself.
Grief is a strange and unpredictable thing and that’s what I found out during this last year. I thought I was doing pretty well since I was enjoying the signs of ongoing love and connection between the dimensions that I continued to receive regularly, yet as last December approached and with it the 30th birthday of my son Tim who no longer occupies his physical body here on Earth, I found myself struggling with new feelings of grief I hadn’t accessed before. It was as if a whole new wave of it washed over the human me and I was drowning. To counteract the feeling I attempted to focus my energy in as positive a direction as I could by throwing myself into a project in his honor. I decided to create a video made up of photos of him put to music to celebrate his life and what a gift he was to all of us who knew and loved him. Then my daughter and I invited his close friends to a gathering for his birthday to watch the video and share our best Tim memories and stories with each other. We laughed and we cried together and it was a truly beautiful way to commemorate the day.
After my project was completed though and his birthday had passed, I struggled. For months. I spent much of last winter in a fetal position wondering how I was going to continue to go on living myself with so much grief overwhelming my heart. I realized that I was experiencing delayed grief syndrome. Ziggy, my dear life companion, was already having physical challenges at the time Tim made his sudden transition and was diagnosed with a massive spinal tumor just a few months later, then undergoing 2 lengthy and delicate spinal surgeries in an attempt to remove it. He gained some time as a result of those surgeries and I was able to spend another 6 months with him post-operatively in Canada at his homestead there as he attempted to make a comeback that just didn’t happen, and that was ultimately our last 6 months together as he departed this Earth just 15 months after Tim did. I hadn’t truly been able to completely grieve the loss of my son while I was taking care of Ziggy and now I had more grief to deal with as a result of his transition. I felt entirely lost for the year after Ziggy died, not even knowing where I wanted to physically ‘live’ after our decade together of going back and forth between New Mexico and Canada and me no longer having a place I called “home” to fall back on. After a year of wandering, literally, I landed in a city apartment just a stone’s throw away from my daughter, which I figured was just temporary until I found my new direction in life. I’ve renewed 2 short term leases since then and am still here because each time I looked at moving on, I found I simply didn’t have the energy to follow through.
I can see now that it has been the perfect place for me to be to allow myself to do the grieving I hadn’t done. It’s been like a womb, a cocoon…or a chrysalis, the cocoon the caterpillar spins for itself and occupies as it does the work of metamorphosing into a butterfly. I had a constant reminder of this with the paper plate artwork hanging on the wall in my hallway that Tim had done in school as a very young child. I had loved it when he brought it home for the symbolism of it and the clever rendition of each stage of life his art teacher had helped her little students put forth…egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, butterfly. I still love it today and look at it every day. This past winter it reminded me that I was not dead even when I felt like I was inside. Instead I was encased in my own chrysalis, doing the very important work of transformation that was taking place within me, in secret and in mystery, even as I felt myself entombed in darkness. Some days it was all that I could do to hang on, barely moving and unable to function beyond breathing in that fetal position, yet I did hang on and eventually as winter gave way to spring, I began to feel some stirrings of life from within my own chrysalis.
Even with those stirrings, it was by necessity a very quiet year for me. I needed the stillness. I needed all my energy to be utilized within my cocoon for my ongoing transformation. I did very little socializing and gave thanks that I was smart enough to get an apartment so close to my beautiful and amazing daughter, who never gave up on me and continually encouraged me to keep going and look for the light and the positives in my life, even as she navigated her way through her own grief at losing her brother who was also her best friend and losing 2 more dear friends at such young ages in the year since I last posted. I do feel so blessed that on the soul level we chose to do this dance together during this particular lifetime as I’m not sure that I would still be here if we hadn’t. But I AM still here and slowly but surely I have been feeling my own life force energy returning during this intense and challenging year that so many have also experienced 2016 as.
I have continued to have my connection and communication between the dimensions, happening more so at the times I wasn’t feeling quite so low and heavy with grief. Once last winter I was startled awake during the night by the very real feeling that someone had just jumped on top of me. My mind raced before I had the courage to open my eyes, wondering if someone had broken into my apartment and was about to do…what? Then I felt the weight slide off to my side and as I did, I opened my eyes to find…no one. Nothing there, at least not anything visible to my human eyes. I could only shake my head and laugh, knowing my interdimensional experiences were being taken to a whole new level. Later in an interD conversation when I asked about this, I was told that a group of my loved ones on the other side was experimenting with new ways of connecting with me and there was an apology as I was told that they didn’t mean to scare me like that.
Another time I woke during the night and saw 2 shadowy figures standing by my bed that I knew had no physical substance to them. I felt no fear that time but rather a deep sense of love and peace. I was very drowsy and so as soon as I watched them walk through my bedroom wall and disappear, I fell right back to sleep. In the morning as I remembered the experience, I felt deeply gifted by it. Twice since then I’ve woken to the very real and very close presence of the incredibly loving energy of my husband (and the father of my 3 children) who died in 1990. The experience of it was more beautiful than I can put into words. The veil is so thin, especially when we open to allowing it to be!
This past year has changed me and I know that that’s been appropriate. I’ve had to go through my own endings and completions, just as everyone else has had to also, whether conscious of it or not. I honestly am not sure what this means for my future. I recognize that I have finally fully returned to the Land of the Living, a place I wasn’t certain I would ever re-visit, yet I’m back as a completely different person than the one I was when I last dwelt here. I can’t pretend I’m the same as I was then because I’m not. I can’t yet really say that I know this new Maureen because I’m not as familiar with her as I was with the old one, but I’m looking forward to getting to know her better as she fully emerges from her chrysalis and takes flight with those new butterfly wings.
I’m ready to participate in life again, ready to let my creativity flow and share with others once more since I do enjoy that so much. I simply don’t know what form that will end up taking. I’ve continued to work on the book I’m writing sporadically, though I’ve learned that creativity and the darkness of grief and the chrysalis/womb don’t necessarily make for an easy flow. 2017 feels like it will be lighter and brighter and more conducive to that. I’m ready to try out my butterfly wings and let myself float on them with ease and grace.
It’s been a joy and a privilege to be able to slide between the dimensions and bring forth love and communication from the other realms these past many years and then share them on my blog, yet I am aware that there are so many wonderful Voices out there now bringing forth beautiful ‘channeled’ messages that it feels as if it may be time to let go of this particular role I’ve enjoyed so much previously in order to see what new avenues are beckoning to me and continue my own unique journey, wherever it may take me. We shall see. I know there’s no limit to what we can experience and how far we can expand our consciousness and I am definitely looking forward to the ride.
I continue to be open to what comes to and through me. Beautiful messages of love and affirmation continue to come through from all the non-physical friends I have connected with in the past. Probably because his passing left the biggest hole in my human heart, I have the most interdimensional interaction with my son Tim’s energy. Our relationship continues and is constantly expanding as I allow my own filters of what is ‘real’ and what is not to drop away. The more open I am to the signs of connection coming through, the more they do come, often through songs and plain old synchronicities that are too amazing to just be random. This is always so beautiful and so reassuring that life truly IS eternal and we all go on, even after we’ve left our physical bodies behind.
Tim has shared more with me about what his experience beyond the body is like. He says: “I know you’re wondering what has come next for me. I’m still exploring and I’m still experimenting. You know how much I loved music when I was alive as Tim, even if I wasn’t a musician per se. I’m very involved in music where I am now, though it’s more than just what you think of as music on Earth. It’s very much frequency based here and it’s really amazing. Sacred geometry is a harmony of frequencies and this is what makes up the known Universe. I can access multiple dimensions through their vibrational signature, which is what you would call music. I’m working with those who are experimenting with frequencies where I am now, frequencies that act as the foundation of portals and wormholes, which will eventually allow greater interaction and communication between dimensions as the consciousness of Earth expands. Light has been so important to where things have come to be at present, and now what is coming next is going to be sound and frequency. This is where technology, as it races into the future, will play such an incredible role as far as bringing ‘Heaven to Earth.’ There are going to be some truly amazing discoveries and inventions directly connected to music and frequency. It’s extremely exciting! Music itself can act as a gateway, a portal, and like a wormhole to other dimensions when one lets go to the experience of music that is soothing to the soul. I encourage everyone to immerse themselves in music they love as much as possible!”
I asked about his connection to his father in the Afterlife and their connecting to me. He replied: “My Dad and I are participating in some grand adventures together and we are both loving it. Yet it’s not in quite the same manner as you would imagine on Earth. We are not exactly the separate individuals here that we were on Earth. We’re part of the same soul family. We’re part of a group. We’re part of a collective. And we’re both part of your soul’s entourage, which means we are always with you and we will always be with you as long as you yourself are in your physical body on Earth. For you are never alone, and you are part of us and we are part of you.”
He then used the analogy of the organ donations that had taken place when a beautiful young member of our extended ‘soul family’ here on Earth, Tannis, was killed in a domestic violence attack last year. Her grieving family had graciously and generously donated everything that could be utilized from her physical body to give the gift of life to others. Tim explained, “You might say that this is a lot of what I’m talking about. It’s an analogy for how things are in the spirit world. Tannis’ kidneys went to 2 different individuals, her heart went to someone else, and so did her corneas. Others received bone and tissue from her so that each of those people who received those organ donations is no longer uniquely “one” in the essence of their biology because they have incorporated the essence of another’s biology into it. The same is true for bone marrow and blood transfusions. Here in spirit form we are energy and consciousness and we often share this with others in an intermingling that is similar energetically to the sharing of biology that comes with organ donations on Earth.”
“While in a human body, people think like humans do and find it hard to conceptualize that there is so much more beyond what the human mind can imagine. People put human qualities on what they think of as God, and believe me, God, that incredible creative Force, is nothing like a human and nothing like humans think “He” is. People also put human ideas on what happens after ‘death,’ like judgement and getting sent to Heaven or Hell depending on how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ one was while on Earth. It’s nothing like that either. The Afterlife is simply one grand continuation of consciousness exploration and a soul’s choice as to what comes next has much more to do with what will assist in expansion of consciousness than anything else! There is no heaven, no hell, no purgatory, and no eternal damnation as has been taught by religions. Humans seek retribution and punishment. God does not.”
He went on to explain that we truly are all in this together…and we are so much bigger than any one individual life we experience. This is a time of awakening on the planet and we all have so much support from ‘the Other Side’ available to us at all times. He said, “We come and work with you and we are not solo entities when we do. We come as part of the collective of your own support teams. We energetically work with you, usually while you are asleep. You are all never alone, especially during your sleep time. Much is happening then, even though for the most part most are never aware of this. You are always being worked with. You receive energetic infusions that are given with so much love. Sometimes you also receive energy infusions from the sun, especially when it is in active mode. Other times celestial and planetary alignments infuse you with energy that penetrates your cells. All of this is to assist in upgrading your DNA, for that’s what’s happening on Earth right now. You are evolving and you have much ongoing help during this process.”
“Again, remember that you are not just living one human lifetime in isolation. You are weaving a tapestry of the soul with all of the lifetimes that you live, both on Earth and in other realms. Every experience you have is part of your soul’s progressive tapestry. It is a collective of all of the experiences that you have. And it is something that will never be complete. It will never be finished. It will always be ongoing and never be done because you are eternal. We are all eternal. And so every experience simply adds beauty, colors, hues and tones. And yes indeed it adds music in frequency and vibration. Your soul signature is made up of frequencies that are much like musical notes and it truly is a song that you add to the collective…and this collective sound is eternally expanding as well!”
In all of the conversations I had with Tim’s energy, he always ended by encouraging everyone to be authentic, live passionate lives, to follow one’s heart and gut and intuition for direction, to seek joy every single day, and to celebrate love in every way possible…including loving one’s self since that is pivotal to being able to truly love others in healthy ways. He says the best thing we each can do is to keep making music in our own lives and to share the rhythm, the melody and the song with as many others as we can. Oh and of course, to have fun, no matter what we’re doing! Life is meant to be a dance and an amazing celebration!
My own dance this past year has been hugely about finding the balance in authentically allowing myself to be exactly where I was and feel all that I needed to feel while still seeking joy and following the passions of my own heart. Those passions were stirred the most by the movement that began at Standing Rock as so many gathered as Protectors of the Water, the Sacred and Mother Earth. I know that we as a collective truly are at a major turning point and we cannot continue to abuse the Earth in the name of greed. We need to follow the guidance of the Indigenous who have honored the Earth as their way of life and learn from them. We need to make the switch to renewable sources of energy and start living more sustainably.
While I personally was horrified and appalled at the level of violence unleashed on the Protectors by the militarized police working as private security for the pipeline builders, their response to the brutality of remaining peaceful and prayerful was amazing and incredibly inspiring. So was the amount of support that came pouring in for Standing Rock from around the world. It was said that this was a spiritual battle taking place and that was very apparent in the way the Protectors stood strong and united in spirit as the events of these last months played out. Their beauty as spiritual warriors was breathtaking.
Many also said that it was the women of Standing Rock who led the way forward and were the backbone of the camp and the movement. They were the Heart of Standing Rock. When I asked my nonphysical friends about Standing Rock, what I was told was that it is the Heart Center for the return of the Divine Feminine that is happening on Earth at this present unprecedented moment in time. Her Light has been strong and unwavering as it has shone forth at Standing Rock, being carried by both the women and the men participating as Protectors.
The beautiful energetic aspect of the Divine Feminine, Brigid the Celtic Goddess, had some words to share with me on the overall shift taking place on Earth. She said, “It is wonderful to see so many all around the world coming together for their collective voice to be heard, and it is indeed being heard. People are focusing their attention and their actions in ways that contribute to the creation of peace and more balanced ways of living, together and with the Earth Herself. “
“The dark will continue to desire to extinguish and blot out the light but that is not possible. The light is growing stronger and brighter all the time with the expansion of consciousness that is taking place on your planet. Continue to lead with your light. This is why you are here. Each of you made the soul choice to come and be here as humans living on Earth during this monumental time of shift and change. You volunteered to BE the shift for Earth. And the way forward is always to move with love and to allow the light within to lead and guide you. As you shine your own light you offer illumination to the world and to so many others around you. This is what it’s important for each of you to know.”
“So many wonder, what is my true purpose in life? What am I here to do? What is my role? Dear Ones, sometimes a life purpose is as simple and as challenging as simply turning on the light within and turning it up ever brighter and ever stronger and ever more powerful. You have seen how those at Standing Rock have been doing this and how it has affected the world. Darkness cannot overtake the light. It doesn’t work that way. When so many come together and allow the brightness of the light within to be joined collectively with others in a world community, there is so much potency in this and in the gentle way, in the way that is the way of the Divine Feminine and the movement forward into a newer consciousness, truly what we may call a Christ Consciousness.”
“As you are aware, this is a time of intense change on your planet and times of change are not necessarily the easiest to navigate one’s way through. Yet you must remember that, as has been said, all great change is preceded by chaos. Things must be shaken up and shaken loose in order for the old to let go to allow in the new. This is very evident in the outcome of your US presidential election. The result was not so much an endorsement of the man who won but rather an overwhelming desire for change on the part of the people. “
“For each of you wondering where your own direction forward is and what to do next on your own path, remember that all you need to do is to turn within and follow the guidance and the promptings of your own heart. You all can feel when your energy is engaged, where it is bright and lively, where there is excitement and your passion is flowing. This is always the path to follow. “
“This is a grand shift that’s taking place on your beautiful Earth right now. It is movement forward into entirely new ways of being and doing, which requires major paradigm shifts. It is often times challenging to even recognize some of the old paradigms that you have been caught up in. It’s not always easy to see how some structures have kept you stuck, such as some of the religions that have been used to manipulate and control rather than genuinely be a pure conduit for your connection to the Divine. Much that began in purity later became adulterated over time. What you need to do as you move forward into the new, each of you here on Earth, is to seek out the pureness at the core of any structure, any paradigm. It is from the purity, which is the essence that became lost in the form, that you will find the beginnings of the creating of the new that will be made manifest in your way forward as you leave the old behind.”
She said in conclusion, “To any who would look to Brigid to receive a message of guidance, it is always the same. Keep the light burning in the hearth fire of your heart. Remember that joy is always more beautiful than any ritual done by rote. Be spontaneous in your joy, be happy, dance with love and light and passion. And always allow yourselves to be led and guided by the light within!”
As I post this it is almost the 12:12, often referred to as an energetic gateway or stargate and a trigger for activation and awakening. It has always been a very special day for me since it is also my birthday. I first entered this world for this particular incarnation on 12/12 at 4:44pm, so I am definitely energetically imprinted with this “12” energy. In researching the spiritual significance of 12 in numerology, I found a lot of different meanings attributed to it. The one that really jumped out at me was this one though: “It is the creative capacity, and in some religions, it expresses also the Divine Mother.”
How appropriate then that this 12:12 gateway is also the feast day of one of the aspects (in the Christian tradition) of the Divine Mother Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe. Her feast day commemorates her appearance in Mexico to the devout peasant Juan Diego and the miracle of her presenting him with beautiful roses blooming in the December snow to take to his bishop as proof of her visit. The roses left an imprint on the garment he carried them in and so the bishop did believe him and constructed a cathedral in her honor, which was her request. Our Lady of Guadalupe is a much loved aspect of the Divine Mother energy and remains the patron saint of Mexico.
When I heard the news on Dec 4 that the Army Corps of Engineers had denied the access permit to Energy Transfer Partners, the builders of the pipeline that would have crossed beneath the Missouri River at Standing Rock and endangered the people’s drinking water with an oil spill, I remembered the Divine Feminine gift of roses blooming in December snows and felt that energy present at Standing Rock. The denial of the permit came on the International Day of Prayer for Standing Rock and at the same time that upwards of 3000 veterans arrived at the Oceti Sakowin camp in a massive show of support for the Protectors. During the time they were there, many veterans participated in a ceremony in which they asked for forgiveness for all of the wrongs that had been committed against Native peoples by those who also wore the uniform of the US government’s armed forces. The acceptance of that apology by the Medicine Man present at the ceremony was certainly an emotional and historic moment and opens the door for further healing and the righting of wrongs that have been continuously perpetrated against Native people.
There is of course still a long way to go in order to permanently defeat the pipeline as well as to make real reparations to the original inhabitants of these lands who were continually lied to and had their treaties broken and their land stolen from them. There is still a long way to go to restore true respect for the Sacred and to live in harmony with Nature and Mother Earth. Yet I see what’s happened at Standing Rock as a sign that the tide is finally beginning to turn. People are waking up all over the planet saying it’s time for change and we’re ready to do what is needed to bring that about. That is truly exciting and I feel that the momentum is only going to keep growing. It may take time, yet eventually we will reach critical mass and then there will be no turning back and no stopping the return of the Divine Feminine and the birth of an entirely new world for which we are each the midwives. Every single one of us, both women and men, who let love and light and peace lead the way forward, while also standing up and letting our voices be heard, are helping to bring this about.
May the miracle of roses blooming in December and the light of the Divine Feminine as She returns fill your own heart with the essence of roses, today and every day. I wish you a beautiful holiday season and much joy as we enter the “1” energy of 2017 and the new beginnings it is bringing with it!
With much love from me to you,
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
These continue to be quite the intense times we’re living in. I hope each of you are faring well in riding the energetic roller coaster we’ve been on that is called Life! In my own experience, I’ve felt a bit like a rolling stone since my last blog post in August. Since then I made my final solo 1800 mile road trip from Alberta, Canada back to New Mexico, USA, all the while contemplating how to go about creating an entirely new life for myself. There are both great joys and great challenges in facing a completely blank canvas waiting to be filled with new beginnings.
Years ago I heard it said that we are in the process this lifetime of creating what is entirely new and has never been experienced before, and this requires us to be bold and not just attempt to create a new and improved version of our old lives when it’s time for change but to go for the all new. I have definitely found this to be true for myself. It seems as if, one after another, every familiar door from my past closed tightly behind me. I admit that at first this was quite disconcerting. It often feels downright scary to be flailing around in the dark of the unknown with seemingly nothing solid and familiar to hold onto and no light shining to illuminate the path forward into the new. Yet just after my son Tim died I had a few energetic visits from him that were very comforting for me at the time. I had visions and otherworldly experiences that went along with them. In one that involved brilliant light he told me that we could always keep meeting each other ‘in the Sun.’ I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that but the feeling state was so beautiful that I trusted that I would comprehend it more in time.
2+ years and about 20 lifetimes worth of experiences later, I have found that an all new path IS opening up in front of me and there is light shining on it showing me my way forward. It’s not an outer light that comes from anywhere in this world though. It’s illumination from within that is guiding my heart and my feet forward one step at a time. Sometimes the light that leads me is as bright as the Sun and I’ve come to realize that that occurs when I allow my own consciousness to keep expanding beyond its former self-imposed limitations of what is possible and that’s when the magic really starts to happen.
I’ve been so deeply immersed in my own inner work that I haven’t felt in the place to do much sharing publicly for a while. That shifted when my daughter showed me the photos that I have posted here with this blog sharing as I knew it was time to resume being open about my own experiences for everyone else who is interested in expanding their own consciousness in the ways that turn up that inner light for greater illumination too. These pictures were taken on Halloween or what is known as Samhain in the Celtic tradition of the Turning of the Wheel of the year. My daughter and Tim’s dear friend who has been part of our family for as long as I can remember took Tim’s beloved 4 legged baby Athena with them on a hike to a favorite spot in the Cibola National Forest. Tim loved this place too and we all shared some truly wonderful times together there.
As you are probably already aware, Halloween or Samhain or All Hallows Eve is when the veil between worlds is said to become very thin as the eve of All Souls Day and the ‘Day of the Dead’ honoring deceased loved ones and Ancestors begins. My daughter and Tim’s dear friend each had brought a beer with them which they opened when they arrived at the clearing with the little waterfall in it. They toasted Tim and then they each symbolically poured some of their beer into the ground ‘for him.’ Then they enjoyed this beautiful place and eventually took some pictures with my daughter’s phone. She loves to do yoga poses out in Nature and so a few were snapped of her demonstrating her incredible balance, then she took some of him just enjoying being there and having fun. My daughter noted that Athena was acting very strangely and quite unlike her usual frisky and rambunctious running-around-joyously-everywhere as she always does on a hike doggie-self. My daughter said she was very calm and subdued and it was “like she was meditating” with her unusually quiet behavior. And then they saw what had shown up in some of the photos…this amazing purple/violet light energy that started out looking like an arc similar in shape to a rainbow and then it expanded in size so it looks as if a paintbrush of purple has been stroked across the pictures. Tim was definitely making his presence known through the thinning of the veil and apparently Athena was very aware of it!
As soon as I saw the photos, I knew that they were meant to be shared. So I asked my daughter for permission to do so and then invited Tim to energetically come close to me for an interdimensional visit. He responded with the grand enthusiasm in doing so that was always the hallmark of his enjoyment of the adventures of living that he so regularly participated in while occupying his Tim body here on Earth. When I could feel his energy with me, I started the conversation by asking him how he is. His response was so typically Tim that I had to laugh and it left me with no doubt that I truly was in communication with the same energy that had been my incredible son’s during his 27 years on Earth.
Tim: “I’m great, Mom! I’m so great! I’m having such a fantastic time being alive ‘eternally!’ I know that’s so hard for most humans on Earth to understand, but I know that you get it and I so appreciate that you really can get it. I so appreciate that we came in during this lifetime as mother and son…and before that as father and daughter! You are the best! I know that it’s been such a challenging lifetime for you on the human level. But do you know the strides you’ve made? Do you know the inroads in consciousness, the energetic pathways that you have paved to make it easier for others? You are a warrior of the heart and the light, my dear beloved Mummy!”
“Oh let’s just have some real fun dancing in the light in the now moment together! The portal is open. Your heart is wide open. Your consciousness is open and so is mine, and when we’re in this space with each other, it’s the same space. It’s beyond any separation of dimensions. It’s beyond human limitations. It simply is your consciousness and my consciousness dancing together in this now moment which stretches beyond time and space and across dimensions. We’re meeting here in this now. We’re meeting in the light. I told you when I visited you shortly after I transitioned that we could meet in the Sun and that’s energetically what we’re doing. We are all part of it and its energy. We are all part of the Oneness, part of the Whole, in this amazing experience we’ve all agreed to have and that we’ve all chosen to have.”
He then went on to talk a little about family and friends. The first thing he said was “I want you to wish my ‘brother’ a Happy 30th!” in honor of his friend in these pictures celebrating his 30th birthday. Then he talked about the recent conversation that his sister and I had had about still wanting to keep some of his ashes near us. She had said she felt like she would always want to have some with her to still feel he was sharing special times and places with her as they did when he was alive in body, and to be able to mark those experiences by scattering a tiny bit of his ashes when it seemed to be the appropriate thing to do. I had liked hearing her say that and Tim affirmed that he did too:
“I love her idea of always keeping some of my ashes with her and with you too to be able to disperse them wherever it feels right, to be able to keep me in that way with you always. I am with you always in far more amazing ways than you have any idea of though! Life is a trip! The way you’re feeling today, Mom (which was in a very good mood) has a lot to do with you tuning in to my energy, picking up on the joy, the laughter, the love, the light…it’s why you haven’t been able to stop smiling all morning! And some of it comes too from having had a great experience on the human level last night in human company. That’s uplifting as well. Yet even with the more challenging experiences that occur on the human level, you are always surrounded by those who love you and are always with you, beyond the physical human sharing of experiences. And when you have challenging experiences…or when you are challenged by another’s human behavior and how it affects your life…remember that things aren’t always exactly as they seem or appear on the surface. A lot of choices are made on the soul level that are truly gifts of love, even though they don’t look that way to human eyes. Sometimes souls take on a lifetime not only for the experience they will gain themselves but for the growth it will catalyze in others. You know, there’s no way to get it wrong when you come to live life on Earth as a human. There are no mistakes. There are no wrong choices or decisions. It’s all about the experience!”
“It’s such a great game! It’s really amazing! And I know all of you who are humans, you cry when some player leaves the game, someone you’ve been close to, someone that you love, but it’s never what you think. No one ever leaves the game in quite the way that you think they do. I am here with you, just in different ways than before, and this is true for each and every person who has ‘lost’ a loved one to physical death. (And he went on to name others in my/our shared experience that have lost children of their own and affirmed it was true for each of them too.) They are close, always, while you are still on Earth yourself! And then there is this grand and joyful reunion when the veil dissolves completely with your own physical death and you can embrace the reality of eternal life yourself.”
“And so you asked for me to bring through a message today that you can share with others that will inspire and give hope. Share those pictures! They were meant to be shared! That was my energy coming in close to people I love. It gives you such a glimpse of the grand way that we all do continue to live eternally. Being a human is hard, but it’s also wonderful. Don’t ever put down or belittle the human experience! It’s amazing and there’s very little else like it throughout this Universe. And then when you leave Earth and your life as a human to move on, the ability to choose what to do next from such a ‘smorgasbord' as your friend Abraham would say (referring to the channel Abraham through Esther Hicks) of amazing experiences available is beyond mind boggling. You get out of your mind once you leave your human physical form. The mind is an amazing thing and it is a gift but sometimes you get too caught up in your mind as humans though. It’s finding the balance of mind and heart and spirit that’s important. Let your mind be the servant to your heart and your spirit. This has been said before. I’ll say it again. Follow your heart and you can’t go wrong!”
“And here’s the message to give to my friends, my family and to all those who have come to know me through what you share. Know that this thing called life on Earth really is such an amazing game. Play it with all you’ve got! Play it with passion! Play it with gusto! (laughter) Play it from your heart! And let your mind be in service to your heart.”
“Share those pictures and let everyone know that it’s simply becoming easier to see the visible proof of what people like you, Mom, who are so sensitive to energies have always known. You know when I’m around because you can feel my energy, even if you can’t ‘see’ me. You know when my Dad and the others in non-physical form who come to visit you are near because you can feel them too. A lot of people aren’t as sensitive and also don’t easily trust and accept what they feel like you do. These photos offer some evidence that is more tangible than just a feeling. People are hungry for this kind of ‘proof’ that there is more…proof of life everlasting, life continuing, love continuing, and all of it being completely accessible between the dimensions.”
“Pass on the message to others that what you and I share, Mom, while seemingly so special and unique is available to every person on this planet! It’s simply a matter of opening to it. It’s simply a matter of inviting it in. It’s simply a matter of choosing to see beyond the limitations that people were taught to believe were real. They’re not.”
“There’s so much that is exciting, so much that is still to come because you’re on the threshold of this long awaited dream of an all new way of living that comes with the expansion of consciousness beyond previously perceived limitations for everyone who chooses that for themselves. Give people a glimpse into the bigger picture and show them what’s possible, Mom. Show them that they don’t have to give up the expansiveness of spirit simply because they’ve chosen to play the game of incarnating on Earth as a human. There’s so much more! This is what the ‘New Golden Era’ that’s been talked about so much is all about. It’s about bringing the gifts of the expansiveness of spirit into your life as humans on the planet. It’s happening now and it is exciting!”
Then Tim’s message shifted to the more personal for me as he encouraged me in the direction of self-publishing to get my own work out in the world. And then he talked about Ireland and this led to the wonderful experience of beautiful synchronicity that prompted me to choose “Hearts on Fire” as my title for this blog post. I want to share this magical-for-me experience as an example of the continual presence and the communication beyond words that can take place with our passed on loved ones when we invite it and allow it in. We simply need to always be open to it, trust the ‘reality’ of it, and let the signs and synchronicities that come to us affirm through our hearts that we are indeed being touched by eternal love.
Tim loved his own Irish heritage and Celtic roots and this was both a great deal of fun and a real joy for me to see. If he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt with the name of one of his favorite bands on it, he was usually sporting one with some sort of Irish theme. I still vividly remember with a big smile how righteously indignant he was when I obtained Irish citizenship myself through proving my lineage as a second generation descendent and he found out that this option was not available to him as third generation. He was Irish to the core and so proud of it and just thought this was so unfair! In this energetic conversation we just had, he let me know that he’ll be with me when I do finally make my way ‘across the pond’ to the Emerald Isle that has called so strongly to both of us…whether I bring some of his ashes with me to scatter there in his honor or not! He affirmed for me that we’ve shared a number of lifetimes with each other in Ireland, particularly in the days of the Ancient Celts and Druids where our focus was on assisting people to see beyond the veil of forgetting and illusion that is taken on when we incarnate on this planet. He said we’ll be returning ‘together’ to continue this work in all new ways, to further assist people in their own deeper connection and empowerment ‘as we’ve always done.’ I felt such wonderful resonance with this as it simply feels so true to me. I hadn’t known that losing my ‘baby boy’ in the physical would be part of the way forward for me into this all new way of living, and yet I accept that we had a soul agreement for things to happen as they did so that we could continue the work we began together in other times and other places in greatly expanded ways. He said, “I’m with you always. For you see love cannot be lost or destroyed or disconnected. Your work, your real work, is beginning now and I’m part of it, just as I’ve always been.” The experience that I then went on to have was all the affirmation of that that was necessary for me.
I am a writer. Words are my paintbrush and writing is my art form. I love to express in this way, and writing just for myself has been something I’ve been doing since childhood when I was thrilled to receive my first ‘diary’ one Christmas, complete with miniature lock and key to ensure that whatever I wrote in it was for my eyes only. I’ve been hooked ever since on expressing my joys and sorrows, working through issues, regaining my balance when it’s been lost and basically just helping myself navigate through life by confiding in my closest friend…ME…through the pages of what I now call my journal. It’s the best therapy I know.
I can go through a lot of journals depending on what’s going on in my life. I’ve found a style of journal that I prefer both for looks and functionality, and I was happy when I found that style readily available in a local bookstore I enjoy visiting. I picked up a new one there on my return to New Mexico in September and with all that’s been swirling around in my personal experience of living since then, I have completely filled it already and needed a new one. So off I went the other day to make a quick stop at the book store and I was so disappointed to see that they were completely out of my favorite journal. I really needed a new one though and since I only had a few minutes before I had to be at an appointment, I didn’t have a lot of time to browse through the rest of the journals on display to find one that I liked. I saw one (and only one) with beautiful Celtic artwork on the cover so I grabbed it and headed to the cash register.
Later on at home when I looked at the cover more closely, I was struck by how similar the artwork looked to what was on the Celtic calendar I had given to Tim as one of his gifts that last Christmas he celebrated with us on Earth. That calendar was hanging on the wall in his bedroom when he died and I kept it, for many months leaving it open to August 2013, the marker in time of when my own heart seemed to stop beating too when he forever departed this life. I looked for the calendar in some of the boxes I have things stored in to be able to compare the names of the artists, but it didn’t easily present itself so I went back to looking at the journal instead. That’s when I noticed the words under the cover art written in a lovely Celtic-looking script…”Walk This World With Hearts On Fire.”
Wow! That really was exactly what Tim had been talking about in the conversation we just had with each other. I turned the journal over to see that it was called Celtic Blessings and the artist was Michael Green. I visited his website here to find an incredible collection of amazing art this very gifted, spiritual and inspiring man has created, where I also read that a lot of his work is displayed on calendars. That affirmed for me what I already felt, that it was his art that had graced the pages of the Celtic calendar I had given to Tim that last Christmas. I knew without a doubt that Tim was touching me with love ‘through the veil’ with this synchronicity and that was affirmed even more when I scrolled down the Home page on the website that displays the same ‘Hearts on Fire’ art as on my journal and found “for your enjoyment” a beautiful song to listen to called “Come Close to Me” by Kabir Green that brought tears to my eyes. My heart is still nearly bursting with the love that has come through to me in the knowing of how close to me Tim still is and always will be.
I wanted to share this post in timing with the potent energies that will be pouring onto the planet with the 11/11 gateway that occurs each year on the 11th of November. This year is sure to be a particularly powerful one since it is also the New Moon in Scorpio and therefore the celebration of Lunar Samhain, which is the actual day that this Celtic New Year falls on when calculated according to the ancient 13 month lunar calendar rather than the Gregorian 12 month one where it always coincides with Halloween. Ever since I became aware of the potent gateway energies of the 11/11, it has also made sense to me that the armistice in WWI was signed at 11am on the 11/11 in 1918, and this of course is what is now appropriately celebrated as Veterans Day as well as Remembrance Day and Armistice Day in countries around the world.
In reading articles on the internet about this year’s 11/11, someone (and I’m sorry I don’t remember who) used the analogy of us tapping into the energies of this sacred numerology day in a similar way to how people can tune into and utilize the collective energy that’s built up in churches and other such holy places and can often be tangibly felt in natural power places on the planet when they’re visited. I liked that.
Tim ended our conversation with this: “The 11/11 is an energy portal. It’s a gateway and it can be accessed from within the heart. Encourage others to utilize it, which can be done simply with intention. Samhain is always an amazing gateway and a powerful portal, and you have the added power this year of the New Moon on this 11/11 day to energize this portal and magnify its expansiveness and potency. Encourage others to open to it. I invite everyone who may feel drawn to it to use their connection to me as a gateway and a bridge if they feel that might help them to access those they have loved who have passed on. Samhain is a wonderful holiday. It’s a bit like the best of Thanksgiving rolled up into energy form and you can sit at the etheric table and feast on the love and feast on the light. We are all eternal beings with so many exciting new adventures still to come. Enjoy this life you are living while you’re here! It’s beautiful! And know that all who have been with you and loved you are with you eternally. I am and I always will be!”
Blessings from me to each of you! And may we always find all of the illumination we need for our individual and collective journeys by walking this world with hearts on fire!