Sunday, December 11, 2016
Happy December and last month of 2016, this “9” year numerologically of endings and completions! We are nearly there now to the new beginnings that 2017, a “1” year (2+0+1+7=10 =1) offers up to us.
It has certainly been a while since the last time I shared in a blog post…13 months now. I have started more posts with the intention of sharing here than I can count, yet I never finished any of them and ultimately I simply had to let go and surrender to the personal process I was going through myself.
Grief is a strange and unpredictable thing and that’s what I found out during this last year. I thought I was doing pretty well since I was enjoying the signs of ongoing love and connection between the dimensions that I continued to receive regularly, yet as last December approached and with it the 30th birthday of my son Tim who no longer occupies his physical body here on Earth, I found myself struggling with new feelings of grief I hadn’t accessed before. It was as if a whole new wave of it washed over the human me and I was drowning. To counteract the feeling I attempted to focus my energy in as positive a direction as I could by throwing myself into a project in his honor. I decided to create a video made up of photos of him put to music to celebrate his life and what a gift he was to all of us who knew and loved him. Then my daughter and I invited his close friends to a gathering for his birthday to watch the video and share our best Tim memories and stories with each other. We laughed and we cried together and it was a truly beautiful way to commemorate the day.
After my project was completed though and his birthday had passed, I struggled. For months. I spent much of last winter in a fetal position wondering how I was going to continue to go on living myself with so much grief overwhelming my heart. I realized that I was experiencing delayed grief syndrome. Ziggy, my dear life companion, was already having physical challenges at the time Tim made his sudden transition and was diagnosed with a massive spinal tumor just a few months later, then undergoing 2 lengthy and delicate spinal surgeries in an attempt to remove it. He gained some time as a result of those surgeries and I was able to spend another 6 months with him post-operatively in Canada at his homestead there as he attempted to make a comeback that just didn’t happen, and that was ultimately our last 6 months together as he departed this Earth just 15 months after Tim did. I hadn’t truly been able to completely grieve the loss of my son while I was taking care of Ziggy and now I had more grief to deal with as a result of his transition. I felt entirely lost for the year after Ziggy died, not even knowing where I wanted to physically ‘live’ after our decade together of going back and forth between New Mexico and Canada and me no longer having a place I called “home” to fall back on. After a year of wandering, literally, I landed in a city apartment just a stone’s throw away from my daughter, which I figured was just temporary until I found my new direction in life. I’ve renewed 2 short term leases since then and am still here because each time I looked at moving on, I found I simply didn’t have the energy to follow through.
I can see now that it has been the perfect place for me to be to allow myself to do the grieving I hadn’t done. It’s been like a womb, a cocoon…or a chrysalis, the cocoon the caterpillar spins for itself and occupies as it does the work of metamorphosing into a butterfly. I had a constant reminder of this with the paper plate artwork hanging on the wall in my hallway that Tim had done in school as a very young child. I had loved it when he brought it home for the symbolism of it and the clever rendition of each stage of life his art teacher had helped her little students put forth…egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, butterfly. I still love it today and look at it every day. This past winter it reminded me that I was not dead even when I felt like I was inside. Instead I was encased in my own chrysalis, doing the very important work of transformation that was taking place within me, in secret and in mystery, even as I felt myself entombed in darkness. Some days it was all that I could do to hang on, barely moving and unable to function beyond breathing in that fetal position, yet I did hang on and eventually as winter gave way to spring, I began to feel some stirrings of life from within my own chrysalis.
Even with those stirrings, it was by necessity a very quiet year for me. I needed the stillness. I needed all my energy to be utilized within my cocoon for my ongoing transformation. I did very little socializing and gave thanks that I was smart enough to get an apartment so close to my beautiful and amazing daughter, who never gave up on me and continually encouraged me to keep going and look for the light and the positives in my life, even as she navigated her way through her own grief at losing her brother who was also her best friend and losing 2 more dear friends at such young ages in the year since I last posted. I do feel so blessed that on the soul level we chose to do this dance together during this particular lifetime as I’m not sure that I would still be here if we hadn’t. But I AM still here and slowly but surely I have been feeling my own life force energy returning during this intense and challenging year that so many have also experienced 2016 as.
I have continued to have my connection and communication between the dimensions, happening more so at the times I wasn’t feeling quite so low and heavy with grief. Once last winter I was startled awake during the night by the very real feeling that someone had just jumped on top of me. My mind raced before I had the courage to open my eyes, wondering if someone had broken into my apartment and was about to do…what? Then I felt the weight slide off to my side and as I did, I opened my eyes to find…no one. Nothing there, at least not anything visible to my human eyes. I could only shake my head and laugh, knowing my interdimensional experiences were being taken to a whole new level. Later in an interD conversation when I asked about this, I was told that a group of my loved ones on the other side was experimenting with new ways of connecting with me and there was an apology as I was told that they didn’t mean to scare me like that.
Another time I woke during the night and saw 2 shadowy figures standing by my bed that I knew had no physical substance to them. I felt no fear that time but rather a deep sense of love and peace. I was very drowsy and so as soon as I watched them walk through my bedroom wall and disappear, I fell right back to sleep. In the morning as I remembered the experience, I felt deeply gifted by it. Twice since then I’ve woken to the very real and very close presence of the incredibly loving energy of my husband (and the father of my 3 children) who died in 1990. The experience of it was more beautiful than I can put into words. The veil is so thin, especially when we open to allowing it to be!
This past year has changed me and I know that that’s been appropriate. I’ve had to go through my own endings and completions, just as everyone else has had to also, whether conscious of it or not. I honestly am not sure what this means for my future. I recognize that I have finally fully returned to the Land of the Living, a place I wasn’t certain I would ever re-visit, yet I’m back as a completely different person than the one I was when I last dwelt here. I can’t pretend I’m the same as I was then because I’m not. I can’t yet really say that I know this new Maureen because I’m not as familiar with her as I was with the old one, but I’m looking forward to getting to know her better as she fully emerges from her chrysalis and takes flight with those new butterfly wings.
I’m ready to participate in life again, ready to let my creativity flow and share with others once more since I do enjoy that so much. I simply don’t know what form that will end up taking. I’ve continued to work on the book I’m writing sporadically, though I’ve learned that creativity and the darkness of grief and the chrysalis/womb don’t necessarily make for an easy flow. 2017 feels like it will be lighter and brighter and more conducive to that. I’m ready to try out my butterfly wings and let myself float on them with ease and grace.
It’s been a joy and a privilege to be able to slide between the dimensions and bring forth love and communication from the other realms these past many years and then share them on my blog, yet I am aware that there are so many wonderful Voices out there now bringing forth beautiful ‘channeled’ messages that it feels as if it may be time to let go of this particular role I’ve enjoyed so much previously in order to see what new avenues are beckoning to me and continue my own unique journey, wherever it may take me. We shall see. I know there’s no limit to what we can experience and how far we can expand our consciousness and I am definitely looking forward to the ride.
I continue to be open to what comes to and through me. Beautiful messages of love and affirmation continue to come through from all the non-physical friends I have connected with in the past. Probably because his passing left the biggest hole in my human heart, I have the most interdimensional interaction with my son Tim’s energy. Our relationship continues and is constantly expanding as I allow my own filters of what is ‘real’ and what is not to drop away. The more open I am to the signs of connection coming through, the more they do come, often through songs and plain old synchronicities that are too amazing to just be random. This is always so beautiful and so reassuring that life truly IS eternal and we all go on, even after we’ve left our physical bodies behind.
Tim has shared more with me about what his experience beyond the body is like. He says: “I know you’re wondering what has come next for me. I’m still exploring and I’m still experimenting. You know how much I loved music when I was alive as Tim, even if I wasn’t a musician per se. I’m very involved in music where I am now, though it’s more than just what you think of as music on Earth. It’s very much frequency based here and it’s really amazing. Sacred geometry is a harmony of frequencies and this is what makes up the known Universe. I can access multiple dimensions through their vibrational signature, which is what you would call music. I’m working with those who are experimenting with frequencies where I am now, frequencies that act as the foundation of portals and wormholes, which will eventually allow greater interaction and communication between dimensions as the consciousness of Earth expands. Light has been so important to where things have come to be at present, and now what is coming next is going to be sound and frequency. This is where technology, as it races into the future, will play such an incredible role as far as bringing ‘Heaven to Earth.’ There are going to be some truly amazing discoveries and inventions directly connected to music and frequency. It’s extremely exciting! Music itself can act as a gateway, a portal, and like a wormhole to other dimensions when one lets go to the experience of music that is soothing to the soul. I encourage everyone to immerse themselves in music they love as much as possible!”
I asked about his connection to his father in the Afterlife and their connecting to me. He replied: “My Dad and I are participating in some grand adventures together and we are both loving it. Yet it’s not in quite the same manner as you would imagine on Earth. We are not exactly the separate individuals here that we were on Earth. We’re part of the same soul family. We’re part of a group. We’re part of a collective. And we’re both part of your soul’s entourage, which means we are always with you and we will always be with you as long as you yourself are in your physical body on Earth. For you are never alone, and you are part of us and we are part of you.”
He then used the analogy of the organ donations that had taken place when a beautiful young member of our extended ‘soul family’ here on Earth, Tannis, was killed in a domestic violence attack last year. Her grieving family had graciously and generously donated everything that could be utilized from her physical body to give the gift of life to others. Tim explained, “You might say that this is a lot of what I’m talking about. It’s an analogy for how things are in the spirit world. Tannis’ kidneys went to 2 different individuals, her heart went to someone else, and so did her corneas. Others received bone and tissue from her so that each of those people who received those organ donations is no longer uniquely “one” in the essence of their biology because they have incorporated the essence of another’s biology into it. The same is true for bone marrow and blood transfusions. Here in spirit form we are energy and consciousness and we often share this with others in an intermingling that is similar energetically to the sharing of biology that comes with organ donations on Earth.”
“While in a human body, people think like humans do and find it hard to conceptualize that there is so much more beyond what the human mind can imagine. People put human qualities on what they think of as God, and believe me, God, that incredible creative Force, is nothing like a human and nothing like humans think “He” is. People also put human ideas on what happens after ‘death,’ like judgement and getting sent to Heaven or Hell depending on how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ one was while on Earth. It’s nothing like that either. The Afterlife is simply one grand continuation of consciousness exploration and a soul’s choice as to what comes next has much more to do with what will assist in expansion of consciousness than anything else! There is no heaven, no hell, no purgatory, and no eternal damnation as has been taught by religions. Humans seek retribution and punishment. God does not.”
He went on to explain that we truly are all in this together…and we are so much bigger than any one individual life we experience. This is a time of awakening on the planet and we all have so much support from ‘the Other Side’ available to us at all times. He said, “We come and work with you and we are not solo entities when we do. We come as part of the collective of your own support teams. We energetically work with you, usually while you are asleep. You are all never alone, especially during your sleep time. Much is happening then, even though for the most part most are never aware of this. You are always being worked with. You receive energetic infusions that are given with so much love. Sometimes you also receive energy infusions from the sun, especially when it is in active mode. Other times celestial and planetary alignments infuse you with energy that penetrates your cells. All of this is to assist in upgrading your DNA, for that’s what’s happening on Earth right now. You are evolving and you have much ongoing help during this process.”
“Again, remember that you are not just living one human lifetime in isolation. You are weaving a tapestry of the soul with all of the lifetimes that you live, both on Earth and in other realms. Every experience you have is part of your soul’s progressive tapestry. It is a collective of all of the experiences that you have. And it is something that will never be complete. It will never be finished. It will always be ongoing and never be done because you are eternal. We are all eternal. And so every experience simply adds beauty, colors, hues and tones. And yes indeed it adds music in frequency and vibration. Your soul signature is made up of frequencies that are much like musical notes and it truly is a song that you add to the collective…and this collective sound is eternally expanding as well!”
In all of the conversations I had with Tim’s energy, he always ended by encouraging everyone to be authentic, live passionate lives, to follow one’s heart and gut and intuition for direction, to seek joy every single day, and to celebrate love in every way possible…including loving one’s self since that is pivotal to being able to truly love others in healthy ways. He says the best thing we each can do is to keep making music in our own lives and to share the rhythm, the melody and the song with as many others as we can. Oh and of course, to have fun, no matter what we’re doing! Life is meant to be a dance and an amazing celebration!
My own dance this past year has been hugely about finding the balance in authentically allowing myself to be exactly where I was and feel all that I needed to feel while still seeking joy and following the passions of my own heart. Those passions were stirred the most by the movement that began at Standing Rock as so many gathered as Protectors of the Water, the Sacred and Mother Earth. I know that we as a collective truly are at a major turning point and we cannot continue to abuse the Earth in the name of greed. We need to follow the guidance of the Indigenous who have honored the Earth as their way of life and learn from them. We need to make the switch to renewable sources of energy and start living more sustainably.
While I personally was horrified and appalled at the level of violence unleashed on the Protectors by the militarized police working as private security for the pipeline builders, their response to the brutality of remaining peaceful and prayerful was amazing and incredibly inspiring. So was the amount of support that came pouring in for Standing Rock from around the world. It was said that this was a spiritual battle taking place and that was very apparent in the way the Protectors stood strong and united in spirit as the events of these last months played out. Their beauty as spiritual warriors was breathtaking.
Many also said that it was the women of Standing Rock who led the way forward and were the backbone of the camp and the movement. They were the Heart of Standing Rock. When I asked my nonphysical friends about Standing Rock, what I was told was that it is the Heart Center for the return of the Divine Feminine that is happening on Earth at this present unprecedented moment in time. Her Light has been strong and unwavering as it has shone forth at Standing Rock, being carried by both the women and the men participating as Protectors.
The beautiful energetic aspect of the Divine Feminine, Brigid the Celtic Goddess, had some words to share with me on the overall shift taking place on Earth. She said, “It is wonderful to see so many all around the world coming together for their collective voice to be heard, and it is indeed being heard. People are focusing their attention and their actions in ways that contribute to the creation of peace and more balanced ways of living, together and with the Earth Herself. “
“The dark will continue to desire to extinguish and blot out the light but that is not possible. The light is growing stronger and brighter all the time with the expansion of consciousness that is taking place on your planet. Continue to lead with your light. This is why you are here. Each of you made the soul choice to come and be here as humans living on Earth during this monumental time of shift and change. You volunteered to BE the shift for Earth. And the way forward is always to move with love and to allow the light within to lead and guide you. As you shine your own light you offer illumination to the world and to so many others around you. This is what it’s important for each of you to know.”
“So many wonder, what is my true purpose in life? What am I here to do? What is my role? Dear Ones, sometimes a life purpose is as simple and as challenging as simply turning on the light within and turning it up ever brighter and ever stronger and ever more powerful. You have seen how those at Standing Rock have been doing this and how it has affected the world. Darkness cannot overtake the light. It doesn’t work that way. When so many come together and allow the brightness of the light within to be joined collectively with others in a world community, there is so much potency in this and in the gentle way, in the way that is the way of the Divine Feminine and the movement forward into a newer consciousness, truly what we may call a Christ Consciousness.”
“As you are aware, this is a time of intense change on your planet and times of change are not necessarily the easiest to navigate one’s way through. Yet you must remember that, as has been said, all great change is preceded by chaos. Things must be shaken up and shaken loose in order for the old to let go to allow in the new. This is very evident in the outcome of your US presidential election. The result was not so much an endorsement of the man who won but rather an overwhelming desire for change on the part of the people. “
“For each of you wondering where your own direction forward is and what to do next on your own path, remember that all you need to do is to turn within and follow the guidance and the promptings of your own heart. You all can feel when your energy is engaged, where it is bright and lively, where there is excitement and your passion is flowing. This is always the path to follow. “
“This is a grand shift that’s taking place on your beautiful Earth right now. It is movement forward into entirely new ways of being and doing, which requires major paradigm shifts. It is often times challenging to even recognize some of the old paradigms that you have been caught up in. It’s not always easy to see how some structures have kept you stuck, such as some of the religions that have been used to manipulate and control rather than genuinely be a pure conduit for your connection to the Divine. Much that began in purity later became adulterated over time. What you need to do as you move forward into the new, each of you here on Earth, is to seek out the pureness at the core of any structure, any paradigm. It is from the purity, which is the essence that became lost in the form, that you will find the beginnings of the creating of the new that will be made manifest in your way forward as you leave the old behind.”
She said in conclusion, “To any who would look to Brigid to receive a message of guidance, it is always the same. Keep the light burning in the hearth fire of your heart. Remember that joy is always more beautiful than any ritual done by rote. Be spontaneous in your joy, be happy, dance with love and light and passion. And always allow yourselves to be led and guided by the light within!”
As I post this it is almost the 12:12, often referred to as an energetic gateway or stargate and a trigger for activation and awakening. It has always been a very special day for me since it is also my birthday. I first entered this world for this particular incarnation on 12/12 at 4:44pm, so I am definitely energetically imprinted with this “12” energy. In researching the spiritual significance of 12 in numerology, I found a lot of different meanings attributed to it. The one that really jumped out at me was this one though: “It is the creative capacity, and in some religions, it expresses also the Divine Mother.”
How appropriate then that this 12:12 gateway is also the feast day of one of the aspects (in the Christian tradition) of the Divine Mother Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe. Her feast day commemorates her appearance in Mexico to the devout peasant Juan Diego and the miracle of her presenting him with beautiful roses blooming in the December snow to take to his bishop as proof of her visit. The roses left an imprint on the garment he carried them in and so the bishop did believe him and constructed a cathedral in her honor, which was her request. Our Lady of Guadalupe is a much loved aspect of the Divine Mother energy and remains the patron saint of Mexico.
When I heard the news on Dec 4 that the Army Corps of Engineers had denied the access permit to Energy Transfer Partners, the builders of the pipeline that would have crossed beneath the Missouri River at Standing Rock and endangered the people’s drinking water with an oil spill, I remembered the Divine Feminine gift of roses blooming in December snows and felt that energy present at Standing Rock. The denial of the permit came on the International Day of Prayer for Standing Rock and at the same time that upwards of 3000 veterans arrived at the Oceti Sakowin camp in a massive show of support for the Protectors. During the time they were there, many veterans participated in a ceremony in which they asked for forgiveness for all of the wrongs that had been committed against Native peoples by those who also wore the uniform of the US government’s armed forces. The acceptance of that apology by the Medicine Man present at the ceremony was certainly an emotional and historic moment and opens the door for further healing and the righting of wrongs that have been continuously perpetrated against Native people.
There is of course still a long way to go in order to permanently defeat the pipeline as well as to make real reparations to the original inhabitants of these lands who were continually lied to and had their treaties broken and their land stolen from them. There is still a long way to go to restore true respect for the Sacred and to live in harmony with Nature and Mother Earth. Yet I see what’s happened at Standing Rock as a sign that the tide is finally beginning to turn. People are waking up all over the planet saying it’s time for change and we’re ready to do what is needed to bring that about. That is truly exciting and I feel that the momentum is only going to keep growing. It may take time, yet eventually we will reach critical mass and then there will be no turning back and no stopping the return of the Divine Feminine and the birth of an entirely new world for which we are each the midwives. Every single one of us, both women and men, who let love and light and peace lead the way forward, while also standing up and letting our voices be heard, are helping to bring this about.
May the miracle of roses blooming in December and the light of the Divine Feminine as She returns fill your own heart with the essence of roses, today and every day. I wish you a beautiful holiday season and much joy as we enter the “1” energy of 2017 and the new beginnings it is bringing with it!
With much love from me to you,
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
These continue to be quite the intense times we’re living in. I hope each of you are faring well in riding the energetic roller coaster we’ve been on that is called Life! In my own experience, I’ve felt a bit like a rolling stone since my last blog post in August. Since then I made my final solo 1800 mile road trip from Alberta, Canada back to New Mexico, USA, all the while contemplating how to go about creating an entirely new life for myself. There are both great joys and great challenges in facing a completely blank canvas waiting to be filled with new beginnings.
Years ago I heard it said that we are in the process this lifetime of creating what is entirely new and has never been experienced before, and this requires us to be bold and not just attempt to create a new and improved version of our old lives when it’s time for change but to go for the all new. I have definitely found this to be true for myself. It seems as if, one after another, every familiar door from my past closed tightly behind me. I admit that at first this was quite disconcerting. It often feels downright scary to be flailing around in the dark of the unknown with seemingly nothing solid and familiar to hold onto and no light shining to illuminate the path forward into the new. Yet just after my son Tim died I had a few energetic visits from him that were very comforting for me at the time. I had visions and otherworldly experiences that went along with them. In one that involved brilliant light he told me that we could always keep meeting each other ‘in the Sun.’ I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that but the feeling state was so beautiful that I trusted that I would comprehend it more in time.
2+ years and about 20 lifetimes worth of experiences later, I have found that an all new path IS opening up in front of me and there is light shining on it showing me my way forward. It’s not an outer light that comes from anywhere in this world though. It’s illumination from within that is guiding my heart and my feet forward one step at a time. Sometimes the light that leads me is as bright as the Sun and I’ve come to realize that that occurs when I allow my own consciousness to keep expanding beyond its former self-imposed limitations of what is possible and that’s when the magic really starts to happen.
I’ve been so deeply immersed in my own inner work that I haven’t felt in the place to do much sharing publicly for a while. That shifted when my daughter showed me the photos that I have posted here with this blog sharing as I knew it was time to resume being open about my own experiences for everyone else who is interested in expanding their own consciousness in the ways that turn up that inner light for greater illumination too. These pictures were taken on Halloween or what is known as Samhain in the Celtic tradition of the Turning of the Wheel of the year. My daughter and Tim’s dear friend who has been part of our family for as long as I can remember took Tim’s beloved 4 legged baby Athena with them on a hike to a favorite spot in the Cibola National Forest. Tim loved this place too and we all shared some truly wonderful times together there.
As you are probably already aware, Halloween or Samhain or All Hallows Eve is when the veil between worlds is said to become very thin as the eve of All Souls Day and the ‘Day of the Dead’ honoring deceased loved ones and Ancestors begins. My daughter and Tim’s dear friend each had brought a beer with them which they opened when they arrived at the clearing with the little waterfall in it. They toasted Tim and then they each symbolically poured some of their beer into the ground ‘for him.’ Then they enjoyed this beautiful place and eventually took some pictures with my daughter’s phone. She loves to do yoga poses out in Nature and so a few were snapped of her demonstrating her incredible balance, then she took some of him just enjoying being there and having fun. My daughter noted that Athena was acting very strangely and quite unlike her usual frisky and rambunctious running-around-joyously-everywhere as she always does on a hike doggie-self. My daughter said she was very calm and subdued and it was “like she was meditating” with her unusually quiet behavior. And then they saw what had shown up in some of the photos…this amazing purple/violet light energy that started out looking like an arc similar in shape to a rainbow and then it expanded in size so it looks as if a paintbrush of purple has been stroked across the pictures. Tim was definitely making his presence known through the thinning of the veil and apparently Athena was very aware of it!
As soon as I saw the photos, I knew that they were meant to be shared. So I asked my daughter for permission to do so and then invited Tim to energetically come close to me for an interdimensional visit. He responded with the grand enthusiasm in doing so that was always the hallmark of his enjoyment of the adventures of living that he so regularly participated in while occupying his Tim body here on Earth. When I could feel his energy with me, I started the conversation by asking him how he is. His response was so typically Tim that I had to laugh and it left me with no doubt that I truly was in communication with the same energy that had been my incredible son’s during his 27 years on Earth.
Tim: “I’m great, Mom! I’m so great! I’m having such a fantastic time being alive ‘eternally!’ I know that’s so hard for most humans on Earth to understand, but I know that you get it and I so appreciate that you really can get it. I so appreciate that we came in during this lifetime as mother and son…and before that as father and daughter! You are the best! I know that it’s been such a challenging lifetime for you on the human level. But do you know the strides you’ve made? Do you know the inroads in consciousness, the energetic pathways that you have paved to make it easier for others? You are a warrior of the heart and the light, my dear beloved Mummy!”
“Oh let’s just have some real fun dancing in the light in the now moment together! The portal is open. Your heart is wide open. Your consciousness is open and so is mine, and when we’re in this space with each other, it’s the same space. It’s beyond any separation of dimensions. It’s beyond human limitations. It simply is your consciousness and my consciousness dancing together in this now moment which stretches beyond time and space and across dimensions. We’re meeting here in this now. We’re meeting in the light. I told you when I visited you shortly after I transitioned that we could meet in the Sun and that’s energetically what we’re doing. We are all part of it and its energy. We are all part of the Oneness, part of the Whole, in this amazing experience we’ve all agreed to have and that we’ve all chosen to have.”
He then went on to talk a little about family and friends. The first thing he said was “I want you to wish my ‘brother’ a Happy 30th!” in honor of his friend in these pictures celebrating his 30th birthday. Then he talked about the recent conversation that his sister and I had had about still wanting to keep some of his ashes near us. She had said she felt like she would always want to have some with her to still feel he was sharing special times and places with her as they did when he was alive in body, and to be able to mark those experiences by scattering a tiny bit of his ashes when it seemed to be the appropriate thing to do. I had liked hearing her say that and Tim affirmed that he did too:
“I love her idea of always keeping some of my ashes with her and with you too to be able to disperse them wherever it feels right, to be able to keep me in that way with you always. I am with you always in far more amazing ways than you have any idea of though! Life is a trip! The way you’re feeling today, Mom (which was in a very good mood) has a lot to do with you tuning in to my energy, picking up on the joy, the laughter, the love, the light…it’s why you haven’t been able to stop smiling all morning! And some of it comes too from having had a great experience on the human level last night in human company. That’s uplifting as well. Yet even with the more challenging experiences that occur on the human level, you are always surrounded by those who love you and are always with you, beyond the physical human sharing of experiences. And when you have challenging experiences…or when you are challenged by another’s human behavior and how it affects your life…remember that things aren’t always exactly as they seem or appear on the surface. A lot of choices are made on the soul level that are truly gifts of love, even though they don’t look that way to human eyes. Sometimes souls take on a lifetime not only for the experience they will gain themselves but for the growth it will catalyze in others. You know, there’s no way to get it wrong when you come to live life on Earth as a human. There are no mistakes. There are no wrong choices or decisions. It’s all about the experience!”
“It’s such a great game! It’s really amazing! And I know all of you who are humans, you cry when some player leaves the game, someone you’ve been close to, someone that you love, but it’s never what you think. No one ever leaves the game in quite the way that you think they do. I am here with you, just in different ways than before, and this is true for each and every person who has ‘lost’ a loved one to physical death. (And he went on to name others in my/our shared experience that have lost children of their own and affirmed it was true for each of them too.) They are close, always, while you are still on Earth yourself! And then there is this grand and joyful reunion when the veil dissolves completely with your own physical death and you can embrace the reality of eternal life yourself.”
“And so you asked for me to bring through a message today that you can share with others that will inspire and give hope. Share those pictures! They were meant to be shared! That was my energy coming in close to people I love. It gives you such a glimpse of the grand way that we all do continue to live eternally. Being a human is hard, but it’s also wonderful. Don’t ever put down or belittle the human experience! It’s amazing and there’s very little else like it throughout this Universe. And then when you leave Earth and your life as a human to move on, the ability to choose what to do next from such a ‘smorgasbord' as your friend Abraham would say (referring to the channel Abraham through Esther Hicks) of amazing experiences available is beyond mind boggling. You get out of your mind once you leave your human physical form. The mind is an amazing thing and it is a gift but sometimes you get too caught up in your mind as humans though. It’s finding the balance of mind and heart and spirit that’s important. Let your mind be the servant to your heart and your spirit. This has been said before. I’ll say it again. Follow your heart and you can’t go wrong!”
“And here’s the message to give to my friends, my family and to all those who have come to know me through what you share. Know that this thing called life on Earth really is such an amazing game. Play it with all you’ve got! Play it with passion! Play it with gusto! (laughter) Play it from your heart! And let your mind be in service to your heart.”
“Share those pictures and let everyone know that it’s simply becoming easier to see the visible proof of what people like you, Mom, who are so sensitive to energies have always known. You know when I’m around because you can feel my energy, even if you can’t ‘see’ me. You know when my Dad and the others in non-physical form who come to visit you are near because you can feel them too. A lot of people aren’t as sensitive and also don’t easily trust and accept what they feel like you do. These photos offer some evidence that is more tangible than just a feeling. People are hungry for this kind of ‘proof’ that there is more…proof of life everlasting, life continuing, love continuing, and all of it being completely accessible between the dimensions.”
“Pass on the message to others that what you and I share, Mom, while seemingly so special and unique is available to every person on this planet! It’s simply a matter of opening to it. It’s simply a matter of inviting it in. It’s simply a matter of choosing to see beyond the limitations that people were taught to believe were real. They’re not.”
“There’s so much that is exciting, so much that is still to come because you’re on the threshold of this long awaited dream of an all new way of living that comes with the expansion of consciousness beyond previously perceived limitations for everyone who chooses that for themselves. Give people a glimpse into the bigger picture and show them what’s possible, Mom. Show them that they don’t have to give up the expansiveness of spirit simply because they’ve chosen to play the game of incarnating on Earth as a human. There’s so much more! This is what the ‘New Golden Era’ that’s been talked about so much is all about. It’s about bringing the gifts of the expansiveness of spirit into your life as humans on the planet. It’s happening now and it is exciting!”
Then Tim’s message shifted to the more personal for me as he encouraged me in the direction of self-publishing to get my own work out in the world. And then he talked about Ireland and this led to the wonderful experience of beautiful synchronicity that prompted me to choose “Hearts on Fire” as my title for this blog post. I want to share this magical-for-me experience as an example of the continual presence and the communication beyond words that can take place with our passed on loved ones when we invite it and allow it in. We simply need to always be open to it, trust the ‘reality’ of it, and let the signs and synchronicities that come to us affirm through our hearts that we are indeed being touched by eternal love.
Tim loved his own Irish heritage and Celtic roots and this was both a great deal of fun and a real joy for me to see. If he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt with the name of one of his favorite bands on it, he was usually sporting one with some sort of Irish theme. I still vividly remember with a big smile how righteously indignant he was when I obtained Irish citizenship myself through proving my lineage as a second generation descendent and he found out that this option was not available to him as third generation. He was Irish to the core and so proud of it and just thought this was so unfair! In this energetic conversation we just had, he let me know that he’ll be with me when I do finally make my way ‘across the pond’ to the Emerald Isle that has called so strongly to both of us…whether I bring some of his ashes with me to scatter there in his honor or not! He affirmed for me that we’ve shared a number of lifetimes with each other in Ireland, particularly in the days of the Ancient Celts and Druids where our focus was on assisting people to see beyond the veil of forgetting and illusion that is taken on when we incarnate on this planet. He said we’ll be returning ‘together’ to continue this work in all new ways, to further assist people in their own deeper connection and empowerment ‘as we’ve always done.’ I felt such wonderful resonance with this as it simply feels so true to me. I hadn’t known that losing my ‘baby boy’ in the physical would be part of the way forward for me into this all new way of living, and yet I accept that we had a soul agreement for things to happen as they did so that we could continue the work we began together in other times and other places in greatly expanded ways. He said, “I’m with you always. For you see love cannot be lost or destroyed or disconnected. Your work, your real work, is beginning now and I’m part of it, just as I’ve always been.” The experience that I then went on to have was all the affirmation of that that was necessary for me.
I am a writer. Words are my paintbrush and writing is my art form. I love to express in this way, and writing just for myself has been something I’ve been doing since childhood when I was thrilled to receive my first ‘diary’ one Christmas, complete with miniature lock and key to ensure that whatever I wrote in it was for my eyes only. I’ve been hooked ever since on expressing my joys and sorrows, working through issues, regaining my balance when it’s been lost and basically just helping myself navigate through life by confiding in my closest friend…ME…through the pages of what I now call my journal. It’s the best therapy I know.
I can go through a lot of journals depending on what’s going on in my life. I’ve found a style of journal that I prefer both for looks and functionality, and I was happy when I found that style readily available in a local bookstore I enjoy visiting. I picked up a new one there on my return to New Mexico in September and with all that’s been swirling around in my personal experience of living since then, I have completely filled it already and needed a new one. So off I went the other day to make a quick stop at the book store and I was so disappointed to see that they were completely out of my favorite journal. I really needed a new one though and since I only had a few minutes before I had to be at an appointment, I didn’t have a lot of time to browse through the rest of the journals on display to find one that I liked. I saw one (and only one) with beautiful Celtic artwork on the cover so I grabbed it and headed to the cash register.
Later on at home when I looked at the cover more closely, I was struck by how similar the artwork looked to what was on the Celtic calendar I had given to Tim as one of his gifts that last Christmas he celebrated with us on Earth. That calendar was hanging on the wall in his bedroom when he died and I kept it, for many months leaving it open to August 2013, the marker in time of when my own heart seemed to stop beating too when he forever departed this life. I looked for the calendar in some of the boxes I have things stored in to be able to compare the names of the artists, but it didn’t easily present itself so I went back to looking at the journal instead. That’s when I noticed the words under the cover art written in a lovely Celtic-looking script…”Walk This World With Hearts On Fire.”
Wow! That really was exactly what Tim had been talking about in the conversation we just had with each other. I turned the journal over to see that it was called Celtic Blessings and the artist was Michael Green. I visited his website here to find an incredible collection of amazing art this very gifted, spiritual and inspiring man has created, where I also read that a lot of his work is displayed on calendars. That affirmed for me what I already felt, that it was his art that had graced the pages of the Celtic calendar I had given to Tim that last Christmas. I knew without a doubt that Tim was touching me with love ‘through the veil’ with this synchronicity and that was affirmed even more when I scrolled down the Home page on the website that displays the same ‘Hearts on Fire’ art as on my journal and found “for your enjoyment” a beautiful song to listen to called “Come Close to Me” by Kabir Green that brought tears to my eyes. My heart is still nearly bursting with the love that has come through to me in the knowing of how close to me Tim still is and always will be.
I wanted to share this post in timing with the potent energies that will be pouring onto the planet with the 11/11 gateway that occurs each year on the 11th of November. This year is sure to be a particularly powerful one since it is also the New Moon in Scorpio and therefore the celebration of Lunar Samhain, which is the actual day that this Celtic New Year falls on when calculated according to the ancient 13 month lunar calendar rather than the Gregorian 12 month one where it always coincides with Halloween. Ever since I became aware of the potent gateway energies of the 11/11, it has also made sense to me that the armistice in WWI was signed at 11am on the 11/11 in 1918, and this of course is what is now appropriately celebrated as Veterans Day as well as Remembrance Day and Armistice Day in countries around the world.
In reading articles on the internet about this year’s 11/11, someone (and I’m sorry I don’t remember who) used the analogy of us tapping into the energies of this sacred numerology day in a similar way to how people can tune into and utilize the collective energy that’s built up in churches and other such holy places and can often be tangibly felt in natural power places on the planet when they’re visited. I liked that.
Tim ended our conversation with this: “The 11/11 is an energy portal. It’s a gateway and it can be accessed from within the heart. Encourage others to utilize it, which can be done simply with intention. Samhain is always an amazing gateway and a powerful portal, and you have the added power this year of the New Moon on this 11/11 day to energize this portal and magnify its expansiveness and potency. Encourage others to open to it. I invite everyone who may feel drawn to it to use their connection to me as a gateway and a bridge if they feel that might help them to access those they have loved who have passed on. Samhain is a wonderful holiday. It’s a bit like the best of Thanksgiving rolled up into energy form and you can sit at the etheric table and feast on the love and feast on the light. We are all eternal beings with so many exciting new adventures still to come. Enjoy this life you are living while you’re here! It’s beautiful! And know that all who have been with you and loved you are with you eternally. I am and I always will be!”
Blessings from me to each of you! And may we always find all of the illumination we need for our individual and collective journeys by walking this world with hearts on fire!
Friday, August 21, 2015
Now I’m getting ready to return to the US and resume living. In so many ways I’ve felt as if my own life stopped when Tim exited this Earth for more heavenly realms. I’ve felt as if I’ve been holding my breath since the evening 2 years ago when the phone call came in telling me of his heat stroke and subsequent coma. This summer in Alberta has allowed me to finally exhale. Now I’m ready to start breathing again and feel alive once more after having spent these last 2 years in a state of much needed hibernation along with a suspension of real living.
Yesterday I had a good day as I texted back and forth with my daughter on her birthday, then talked to her on the phone while she waited to board her plane at the airport for a long weekend with friends. Tonight they will go to a concert with Tim’s favorite bands playing as she decided it would be a good way to honor her brother on the 2 year anniversary of his passing. We both loved that the concert fell on the exact date of it. Tim sure did love his music and it seems so fitting that Erin be immersed in the music that he loved so much as she marks another year without the brother she called her best friend.
Last night was a bit different from the day for me as my mind took me back to how I spent the night of Erin’s birthday 2 years ago on the full blue moon of August 2013. I had left his bedside in the Medical Intensive Care Unit of the hospital he was in to try to get some sleep in preparation for what was to come. It was becoming clearer and clearer that Tim’s spirit had already left his body and wasn’t coming back. He was scheduled the next morning for the medical test that would likely definitively show that he had no brain activity and then he would be removed from life support. I still marvel at how thoughtful he was in his passing to wait until his sister’s birthday was over as it was just after midnight that I got the call that his blood pressure had dropped precipitously and he probably wouldn’t make it til morning and the test. So his brother and sister and I gathered around his bed in the wee hours to officially send him off with love.
I got into both music and wine last night and the combination made me weepy. Anniversaries can do that, along with just about anything else that is a strong reminder of someone we love who is no longer with us here in the physical. Eventually I drifted off to sleep, then woke in the very early morning hours to see the clock flashing indicating there had been a power outage. I went back to sleep and when I checked the spaceweather site in the morning I saw that we had also had our first M class flare in 45 days, breaking the cycle of quiet that the sun has been in. Both happened close enough to the time of Tim’s official death 2 years ago that I wondered if there was a connection. He had my attention! As soon as I did wake up, I could feel his energy strongly and knew he was very close. The first thing I heard from him was “Mom, I don’t want you to spend today being sad! I want you to be happy today!” I really had to laugh as it is certainly a bit disconcerting and takes the wind out of the sails of one’s grief when the dear departed directly addresses you with this kind of admonition. What could I do but tell him okay, I’d do my best.
After months of not a lot of action in my world on the interdimensional communication front, these past couple of months have once again seen an uptick in these kinds of energetic conversations for me. Tim comes around frequently, as does my husband Dickie who departed his life on Earth 25 years ago next Tuesday the 25th, Ziggy, and numerous other departed relatives and friends as well as the ‘spooks’ whom I’ve not known in physical form in this lifetime, like St Germain and Tobias and Brigid et al. When I feel my interdimensional doorway being knocked on, I take out my recorder and invite whoever is there in for a conversation. I’m very sensitive to energies and generally can easily tell the difference as far as ‘who’ has shown up and wants to communicate with me. I’ve had some great conversations of late but have simply been too low energy to do anything about transcribing them and sharing them through blog posts.
Well, in our last conversation my baby boy let me know that it was time for things to change in that department. Let’s say that today I basically was told “Time’s up!” as far as lolling around grieving. Lol. It’s time to get on with what I’m here on Earth for and a good part of that role is sharing with others. Nothing like having yer arse kicked by your ‘dead’ son and being told to get your rear back in gear!
During Brigid’s last visit she encouraged me in this direction as well telling me that I am moving into an all new phase in both life and the communication I do and that it’s no longer necessary for me to do word for word transcribing when I share posts but can just rely on the combined energies flowing through me to guide my words as I write up the messages I’m receiving in blocks of energy with distinct vibrational ‘signatures’ attached to them. I’ve been told all this numerous times before but quite frankly I’ve been too low energy/lazy to put the effort into composing posts in this manner and have always found it simply easier to just transcribe and share verbatim what came through. Apparently that’s no longer going to be condoned by my etheric pals though and I am being pushed in the direction of using the gifts I have in both how I can translate energies into communication and how I can string words together as my own personal art form.
Sometimes I really do enjoy sharing what has come through word for word when those words are particularly good so I’ll continue to include them as feels appropriate to me. I just will also do a lot more free flowing writing of my own to share as well. After being steered in the direction today of getting a blog post up to honor Tim’s anniversary today instead of crying in my beer (or wine as the case may be!), I did transcribe the last 2 conversations we had and intended to print them out as I’ve done in the past for ease of choosing what to include in a post. I had to laugh though as when I went to print them the printer was completely out of ink and would not do so. Just a couple of days ago I printed out my current proof of car insurance and while I knew it was low on ink, the printer did a fine job with that with everything on it completely legible. I found it rather ironic that it worked so well then but would not do so now and only offered up blank pages. Okay Tim, I get the point! So here goes.
Tim chose the subject title that he wanted me to use for this blog post. He thanked me for the experience we shared during this lifetime in which he came in as my son and I was his mother. He assured me that it was just one of many that we have shared and that we will continue to have experiences like this, but in different roles with each other, over and over again because we are so close on the soul level and we both enjoy sharing the experience of life with each other so much. He pointed out that while during this particular lifetime I have experienced the deaths of so many loved ones, which might well appear cruel and unfair on the human level, this was a set up that I agreed to on the soul level before I incarnated in this lifetime as Maureen.
“This set up was in place for you to open up to awakening in the way that you have…for you to expand your own consciousness first to be in the place to be able to share with others what you have learned and grown into and what you now know as truth. And that truth is that consciousness continues forever! There is no ending. There is no death to be feared. It is simply a change of form.”
“I am as alive and well as I always was previously in my body as Tim. It wasn’t the body that made me Tim. It was my consciousness that made me Tim. And that is what is eternal along with what you call your soul. But truly it is more consciousness than anything else.”
“Do share that incident you had in the back of the car that time you were at the Icefields with Ziggy and Denise when they went hiking and you stayed and napped. That is exactly the kind of experience that can explain what happens. You woke up not connected to your body. You woke up connected to the experience of knowing you were consciousness and you simply didn’t know where that consciousness was focused for a moment or two. “
So I will share. One year a while back, Ziggy and I were planning our yearly camping trip to powerful and magically beautiful Banff and Jasper National Parks for the June Solstice. Our friend Denise made the trip up from New Mexico to join us. The trip started out well with our first night spent with our tents pitched by a peaceful river in Jasper, but the following night of the Summer Solstice, a Friday, was a very different experience. The campground we were at in Banff was filled to capacity and there was a rowdy bunch of partying campers who kept the entire place up all night with their drunken noise and rudeness. There was no park ranger anywhere to be found to put an end to it so the entire campground experienced a very non-restful and sleepless night. We had intended to spend another night in Banff but in our bleary-eyed state the next morning, we decided to head back to Jasper instead. We took the Icefields Parkway, which its website describes as:
“The Most Spectacular Journey in the World!
To travel the Icefields Parkway is to experience one of Canada's national treasures and most rewarding destinations. Stretching 232km (144mi.) through the heart of the Canadian Rocky Mountain Parks World Heritage Site, this world-class journey offers access to a vast wilderness of pristine mountain lakes, ancient glaciers and broad sweeping valleys. This special travel route winds its way through two national parks, boasting a unique and irreplaceable landscape rich in history and natural beauty second to none.”
I completely agree with the description and would encourage everyone to see this place at least once before you depart the planet! But since I’d been there a number of times previously to soak up the beauty, I wasn’t as enthralled in my sleep deprived state as Denise was on her first ever visit. She was sitting up front in the passenger seat while Ziggy drove and played tour guide and she was enthusiastic about hiking up to the ancient glacial icefields when he told her about that and pulled into the parking lot. I on the other hand just wanted to take a nap and see if I could recoup at least a little of the lost sleep from the night before so as to make it through the rest of the day. I waved goodbye to them and curled up in the back seat and then was gone, gone, gone. I was out cold and really went into a very deep sleep.
When I started coming to a while later, I was completely disoriented and my first groggy thought was “I don’t know where I am.” But it wasn’t the kind of not knowing that you get when you wake up in an unfamiliar place and don’t know where you are or whose bed you’re in. Instead it was a complete blankness and a veil across everything except my own recognition of myself as consciousness. I was aware of “me” but nothing else. That lasted for a few brief moments and then awareness once again returned to me. I remembered that I was in a human physical body and that body was identified as Maureen and that Maureen was waking up from a nap in the backseat of Ziggy’s Jetta.
I am pretty sure that my momentary experience in the backseat at the Icefields was similar to what happens when consciousness leaves the physical body behind at the time of death and moves on into its next experience.
Tim went on to say: “My consciousness is now focused in truly joyful exploration. Being in a body is hard! It’s hard work! Being on Earth is a mixed bag. (laughter) It is a blessing in so many ways because there are things you can experience on Earth and in a physical body that there’s no comparison to anywhere else. And yet to have agreed to forget who you truly are, to have agreed to feeling disconnected from your grander Self, your grander consciousness when you enter into living on Earth in a human body can definitely be a very challenging experience. And we miss people when they aren’t with us. So much of my entire life was shaped by my missing my Dad (who died when Tim was 4). But again it was set up this way, with soul agreement, with conscious agreement prior to incarnating, for personal growth and expansion but also for service to others as well in what can assist in their growth and expansion.”
“I’m highly involved in music here in the dimension we can call it that I am in conscious awareness occupying in this particular now moment of time. I am interacting frequently with those that you consider to have died…my Dad of course, Mike (http://maureenquinn.blogspot.ca/2009/04/easter-story.html), extended family members and friends, but as you are aware dear Mummy to interact with my grandparents is a bit different in that I was my own grandfather. It is getting to be time for you to share this in whatever way feels appropriate.”
So here goes on that!
Through the course of my own lifetime and the experiences I’ve had, I’ve come to realize that things don’t necessarily work the way I used to believe they did or I was taught that they did. My career in holistic health led me in the direction of becoming a hypnotherapist and the experiences I had while in private practice were pretty incredible and certainly mind boggling to the mind that was programmed by mass consciousness belief systems. While training for certification I had some amazing personal experiences during past life regressions that connected a lot of dots for me and the past life regressions I did for others in my practice just continued to confirm for me that we do not only live once.
I was very close to my father, whom I adored and who died of Parkinson’s Disease when I was 18, 2 years after my mother had died of cancer. He was a beautiful soul/man who loved Nature and taught American History at a high school in the town I grew up in. He also loved dogs and was an avid gardener. One of my greatest joys as a child was hiking in the Connecticut woods with my Dad who always had interesting stories to tell and so much to teach me. He had spent WWII as an army intelligence specialist in the European campaign and had come home from the war with some post traumatic stress from having participated in the very bloody Battle of the Bulge. He was a genial gentle man with a poet soul and I can only imagine what all that brutal fighting and killing did to him. Eventually he got himself to AA and I could not have been prouder of getting to call him my Dad.
My Dad had also been a very fun guy and I could listen endlessly to all the stories he had to tell of youthful forbidden escapades that still brought up a great deal of mirth in him in the retelling. One was about BAB…which was the acronym for ‘Bare Arse Beach,’ where he and his buddies went skinny dipping. Apparently as he, John ‘Red’ Dunn, himself disrobed, his friends would sing “Johnny lost his pants doing the Hoochie Coochie dance!” to the tune of some popular Egyptian-themed melody of the era. I ate it all up.
My Dad, not particularly an athlete, still did enjoy playing some sports, one of which was ice hockey during the long cold New England winters. He was my grandmother’s baby boy though and she had a fear of his getting hurt and so had forbidden him from playing ice hockey because she thought it was too dangerous. He went ahead and played anyway, figuring he would just keep it a secret from her. That worked until the day he got hit in the mouth with a flying hockey puck which damaged the nerve in his front tooth to the point that the tooth turned brown and remained discolored for the rest of his life.
When Tim was a toddler of about 18 months, he had been having a great time playing by climbing up the back of our sofa and rolling down it, something I actually remember doing myself as a toddler too and greatly enjoying it. He ended up falling off and doing a face plant on the hardwood floor beneath it. His mouth with little baby teeth hit the floor hard and his front tooth turned brown, exactly like my Dad’s. For the next 7 or so years Tim walked around with the same brown front tooth that my Dad had had and it struck me as rather uncanny at the time.
Later when I studied hypnotherapy and past life regressions, I found that frequently a person will bring some identifying physical characteristic from their last lifetime into their present one. And there are often other similarities that come through as well. As Tim grew older I noted how much like my father he was in his love of Nature, dogs, and gardening. Tim was also incredibly smart, just like my Dad had been, but this didn’t always show in his school grades. I laughed out loud once when he told me what his grades were for his semester’s courses at UNM, which were all B’s and C’s…except for the A+ he got in American History.
Oh, and my Dad loved music too. He played piano awesomely “by ear” in a way that I so envied and wished I could do too. He told the funny story of how he couldn’t read a note of music. When he was a child his mother was paying to send him for piano lessons and he just couldn’t ever quite get reading the notes down. So he just listened really well to whatever his piano teacher played and then practiced all week playing it back by memory rather than by reading the sheet music. When he was finally found out, his mother’s response was “What am I paying for lessons for then?!” lol. The music was just in him, like it was in Tim too.
I have no doubt that we do come back time and time again to share experiences with those we love. I know ‘Tim’ and I have done this. I am moved beyond words when I realize the depth of the love that had this particular soul incarnate with me, not once but twice in this lifetime, first as my beloved father and then as my beloved son. I’ve even come to accept that our pets reincarnate to be with us again too and I am certain that Danny Boy, the beloved English Setter of my Dad’s in my childhood also returned as Rita, the Black Lab so beloved by Tim in his childhood.
Consciousness continues forever and so does love!
Tim continued: “I told you that I’m working with music. It’s actually really more about frequency and working with the higher frequencies of what on Earth you call music. It’s not quite the same thing in the dimension I’m in now but it is a way to transcend the seeming barrier of being in different dimensions.”
“Now you’ve seen how music can transport you. Music does that and smells do too…to smell something that reminds you of something or someone also transports you…you know Mom from being a hypnotherapist it’s a quick way to access your subconscious through a familiar smell. It’s the same thing with music and frequency. It assists you in connecting to what is beyond your present ‘reality’ in 3D.”
Tim pointed out how I frequently do connect with him via music. He then went on to say: “Mom, our connection is constant, as you are becoming aware. We’re always energetically in touch unless you turn it off, and you know the things that do that. It’s definitely the lower denser energies that often come about due to moods that are less than peaceful or happy or joyful.”
“You’re getting to the point of moving beyond this, Mom. You’re getting to the point of moving to and into the place where you can continually be connected to any energy in any dimension that you choose.”
“I don’t want you to be sad today! It’s time. Time to move on. It’s time to really start our work together. And our work together has a lot to do with helping people change the way that they look at death, both their own and that of people that they love. Of course you have to go through the human emotions. Of course you grieve when someone that you love is no longer physically with you, but all that’s been happening on Earth, what you came to be a part of Mom and others did as well, is moving beyond life as you’ve known it of it just being a 3D experience. You are expanding into multi-dimensionality and this is what you and I are here to share, my dear Mummy. We’re here to share a multi-dimensional experience. You know that you’re communicating with “me” in as real a manner as you ever did when I was in physical body and now I’m always available to you. It’s not dependent on us being physically in the same place or having to pick up the telephone. I’m always with you! You can communicate with me all the time! And you know this. Now others may be skeptical. That’s okay. Share what you have to share for those who will be open to it and don’t worry about the rest.”
“Let people who are missing me know that I don’t want them to get lost in being sad. Mom, if you share how easily you can communicate with me now and how I did directly instruct you to not be sad today, it can help. It can help a lot of others. You know this is part of what it’s about to move into the new Golden Era that you’ve talked about, that you know is being created. This is part of what it’s about to be able to access those that you love in whatever dimension they’re in.”
“You and I are a good frequency match and this is why you are able to connect with me the way that you can. You’re a frequency match to many of the energies of the beyond 3rd dimensional realms. You can share with people that the higher they raise their frequency, the easier it will be for them to communicate with anyone that they’ve loved who’s no longer living in a physical body on the planet.”
“The light that’s flooding the planet now is assisting everyone’s frequency to be raised. And you saw that chart on Facebook this morning that shows that the frequency of the Earth itself has been raised. This is going to continue. It is going to be a very interesting time on the planet as you move into the month of September and you can see that things are starting to move with the solar energies picking up again with today’s M Class flare.”
“Encourage people to tune in to the music. Tobias told you that nothing connects you between dimensions more than laughter and this is so true. And it is why we love to laugh. But music…music connects you between the dimensions too, so remember that. Listen to the music that connects you but also be aware that when you feel sadness in listening, it is a heavier frequency than when you feel joy in remembering a heartfelt connection through music. And when you remember the connection joyfully it’s much easier for there to be real touching between the dimensions and communication of the heart and of the soul and of the spirit.”
He ended our conversation by telling me that I honor him so much more by being in joy than by remaining in sadness and that this is true for everyone who loves someone who has passed on to their next experience. So I intend to continue to keep myself in a joyful place today as the highest honoring of my beloved Tim and I will be connecting with him through the music again as soon as I have this posted.
Oh, and just a little while ago when I took a break from writing, I walked into the living room to find that my Bose music system, a gift from Ziggy, was spitting out and then pulling back in the cd that was in it, over and over again. It sometimes ejects the cd in it after the power has gone out and come back on, but it doesn’t then pull it back in and it hadn’t been doing it this morning after last night’s power outage. I had to laugh as the cd that was in it was one that Tim had made and given me.
From Rebelution’s ‘Courage to Grow’…”We’re feelin’ good, we’re feelin’ alright!”
Yes I am. And I hope you are too!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Hello to all kindred souls sharing this journey of Life!
Once again, many months have passed since my last blog post. Like so many others I know, these months have been spent with me simply trying to keep my head above water during extremely turbulent times that often have felt like a riptide pulling me away from all known and familiar shores. In short, these have not been easy months for me and I know I have not been alone in being immersed in challenge, loss and change.
My last blog entry back in August was in honor of the first anniversary of my son Tim’s transition from life in his human form back to the mysterious (at least to those of us still here on Earth) world of Spirit. Somehow it feels fitting that my next post coincides with St Patrick’s Day, a day that Tim dearly loved to celebrate. He was proud of his Irish roots and heritage, and this year again on the day dedicated to the “wearin’ o’ the green” I will wear his well worn green t-shirt with the words “Made in Ireland” stamped across the front. I used to kid him when he wore that shirt and always tell him that he was actually "Made in Connecticut." He would just laugh and still good naturedly insist that his roots were Irish at the core.
When I last posted, I was in the midst of another 6 month legally allowed stay in Alberta, Canada with Ziggy, my dear friend and companion in life and expansion of consciousness and the spirit for the last 9 years. Ziggy, who had always been in excellent health and extremely physically fit, had been diagnosed with a spinal tumor just months after Tim’s transition and my own fall on concrete that resulted in 3 broken bones on the day of our Celebration of Life memorial for Tim. To say that 2013 was a challenging year and one for the record books would be quite an understatement. Early in 2014 Ziggy underwent delicate surgery to remove the tumor, only to have his doctors shocked and amazed by the size of it. They couldn’t remove it in just one operation so 2 weeks after the first one, he underwent a second. After it, his surgeons were optimistic that they had removed it all and that his prognosis was good. He underwent weeks of orthopedic rehab to regain his walking and other motor skills that were affected by the tumor and he was doing very well with this when I arrived back in Alberta last Easter Sunday. Unfortunately that didn’t last as had been hoped and by midsummer Ziggy was starting to lose function that he had previously regained after the surgery. By late September it was apparent that the tumor had returned and it eventually was diagnosed as malignant and a very rare form of bone cancer. He faced this valiantly and with a courage and fearlessness that was inspiring to everyone who knew and loved him. He had no fear of death and let everyone know that he would welcome exploring the new realms that came after it, likely as “Commander Z” in his infamous and beloved spaceship that was legendary to all who listened to his dream state/altered state experiences that were as real to him as the sun rising and setting each day. He made his transition on November 29 surrounded physically and energetically by the family who loved him so much.
I’ve spent the winter in the little house in the mountains of New Mexico that Ziggy and I had shared prior to his return to Alberta last year when his tumor was diagnosed. Much of this time for me was spent in snowbound isolation here at 7200’ elevation in the Rocky Mountains of the southwestern United States. Now as Spring finally approaches I feel myself so ready to emerge from this cocoon I’ve been sequestered in, some of it spent virtually in a fetal position crying “Uncle!” to the Universe as far as what I felt capable of handling in this particular go round on Planet Earth.
I’ve cried a lot of tears this winter, still grieving the human loss of Tim and then having to allow myself to grieve Ziggy’s passing and the complete loss of my old life as well, and I felt that I was at my breaking point more than once. Yet I’ve made it through, often with the only company I had being not of this dimension. :-) Ziggy did make contact with me energetically shortly after he made his transition and I know from our communication that he is alive and well in the new dimension/s he’s residing in and eager to share his expanded perceptions of reality as soon as I’m in the space myself to be completely receptive to that. It’s been quite the juggling act for me to allow all of my human feelings and emotions to be acknowledged, felt and expressed without judgement of them while still maintaining my understanding of life being eternal and not ending with death of the human body. I know that when I am in a balanced place in my own dancing with this that eternal love and our ongoing communication ability is ever present.
This week Spring arrives here in the Northern Hemisphere with the Vernal Equinox of Friday March 20 being accompanied by a total solar eclipse on the new moon in Pisces. Eclipses generally come in pairs and this Equinox’s solar eclipse will be complemented by a lunar eclipse on the full moon in Libra of Saturday April 4 (dates and time in my own MDT time zone). Easter is celebrated the following day, Sunday April 5. March 16/17 is the 7th and final Uranus square Pluto aspect since the first in June 2012 and much has been written about the potent effect these particular astrological squares have on humanity and the planet. To say that we are entering a very powerful window of energies now would not be an overstatement. These are unprecedented times on our dear Earth, and while they can be intense and challenging, they also offer incredible opportunities for growth and expansion when that is allowed. How we emerge from this powerful energetic time is entirely up to each of us and dependent on our attitude, perspective and willingness to trust, surrender and allow the process of transformation to unfold.
Yesterday while I was enjoying watching the birds and squirrels and bunnies playing and feeding in my backyard, I saw my first butterfly of the season here in New Mexico. It was flitting about on new wings in what seemed to me to be a dance of wild joy and complete abandonment on a warm sunny almost-Spring day. It brought joy to me to see this harbinger of new life and the rebirth that Earth and the cycles of Nature go through every year when Spring arrives once again, no matter how long, grueling and brutal Winter may have been. It also made me think of a childhood art project that Tim had done at school when he was quite young. I loved it when he brought it home and gifted it to me and I had it hanging on my wall for many years, long past Tim’s comfort zone of me keeping such a childish creation of his on public display in our home. It was what it symbolized that fascinated me, and somehow I think it was one of those timeless gifts that would help to trigger my own knowing that things are not always exactly as they appear to us and this would give me comfort after his early departure from life on Earth.
His art project was a white paper plate divided into 4 sections like pieces of pie. In the 1st section there is a construction paper hand drawn leaf with the word “egg” beneath it. Then comes a pipe cleaner caterpillar followed by a cotton ball “chrysalis.” And finally a tissue paper butterfly. The process of metamorphosis completely illustrated on a paper plate! In a talk I once gave as a guest speaker for a metaphysical group gathering, I used Tim’s paper plate art work as inspiration for my topic.
It’s so much more common to hear the word “cocoon” than “chrysalis” and I was curious about the difference between them.
From Wikipedia: “A chrysalis (Latin chrysallis, from Greek χρυσαλλίς = chrysallís, pl: chrysalides, also known as an aurelia) or nympha is the pupal stage of butterflies. The term is derived from the metallic gold-coloration found in the pupae of many butterflies, referred to by the Greek term χρυσός (chrysós) for gold.”
“A cocoon is a casing spun of silk by many moth caterpillars, and numerous other holometabolous insect larvae as a protective covering for the pupa.”
So moths and other insects emerge from cocoons. Only butterflies emerge from a chrysalis, whose root meaning is gold.
It also struck me as I was preparing for that talk how closely the word chrysalis, with its Greek root of chrysós meaning gold, resembles the root word for Christ, christós, meaning anointed one. Is it any wonder that the time we are said to be entering into with this Shift of the Ages presently taking place on Earth is known as the New Golden Era and is synonymous with Christ Consciousness bringing in a time of peace and prosperity for all mankind? And isn’t this akin to each of our own unique journeys in which, in the spiritual sense, when we emerge from the chrysalis of our “winter” time cocooned within, we will have in essence transformed ourselves from crawling caterpillars to those beautiful winged creatures that fly that we call butterflies?
Easter and the transformation that it represents is approaching, and it feels very appropriate to me that the eclipse cycle now at hand, which represents the darkening or obscuring of the light (the shadow side), will be completing on the day before we celebrate Easter, giving triumphant emphasis to the resurrection and returning of the Light of the Christ (Consciousness) celebrated on it.
But first we have our own "Passion" to embrace during this time leading up to Easter that includes St Patricks’ Day along with the Equinox and eclipses. Beyond the meaning of the Passion of the Christ as “suffering” in traditional Christianity, another meaning of the word passion is “a compelling enthusiasm or desire for something.” Passion allows us to love and to create and to birth the new into manifest form. What is your passion? What is it that you have a compelling enthusiasm and desire to birth into your own life experience? Now is the time to renew your Passion and allow the potent energies being gifted to us at this unprecedented time on Earth to assist you in bringing it to life.
My son Tim had a passion for life and for being Irish, and a passion for celebrating that and celebrating St Patrick’s Day too. My own passion for my Irish roots was slower to evolve in my life than it was in his. For many years I equated being Irish with dysfunctional behavior. In my younger years I blamed a lot of the pain in my life on what I saw as the curse of being Irish and I distanced myself from my heritage as much as I possibly could. However that wasn’t always the easiest thing to do with a name like Maureen Quinn.
It was because of my Irish name that years ago I received my first invitation to speak at the 3M Fellowship, a metaphysical gathering that met locally each Sunday morning and stood for Music, Musings and Meditation. I had been seated across the dinner table from the man who did the speaker scheduling for the 3M Fellowship at the monthly “Abraham potluck” I attended (based on the Abraham-Hicks material) at the time. He had looked at me with a twinkle in his eye when he mentioned that he had an opening for a speaker (who would provide the Musings) for St Patrick’s Day weekend and he thought that anyone named Maureen Quinn would be the perfect person to fill the spot.
While I welcomed the invitation because I enjoy speaking to groups, I inwardly groaned when he let it be known that everyone would be expecting my theme to relate to St Patrick and the Irish. What could I come up with that didn’t have something to do with shamrocks, green beer, parades or religion? I didn’t know then but I was determined to find something else to talk about to this metaphysical crowd.
So I poured myself into research in order to find something that I could talk about that I would be able to flow some passion into for my Musing engagement, and in the process I fell in love with the wisdom of the Druids, ancient Celtic spirituality and the people who had lived in such harmony with Nature and the Turning of the Wheel, and this was long before I ever connected with the energy of Brigid.
There are a lot of myths that have been built up around the personage of St Patrick. One popular one is that he drove all the serpents out of Ireland. What I learned and shared in my talk is that this is an allegory for the Catholic Church eradicating Druidism (represented by the potent and magical snake) and the ancient ways from the land when the Church came into power there and sought control over the Irish people. No offense meant to St Patrick (I named my first son Patrick!), but beyond the real man who lived and breathed and walked the Irish soil, over time he simply became a symbol representing the Catholic Church, much in the same way that the ancient Celtic goddess Brigid was turned into St Brigid by the Church in order to placate the protests of the people who loved her and weren’t willing to give their close connection to her up in order to accept the Catholicism being thrust upon them.
What touched my own soul the most in my uncovering of the wisdom of the ancient Celts was the idea of Wild Goose spirituality. I found many different versions of what the term “Wild Geese,” relating to Ireland, was actually supposed to signify, the main one being those who left the Irish land to fly to many diverse places around the globe, always bringing their Irish roots with them to their new homes. Yet the main theme underlying all definitions was that in ancient Celtic Christianity, the Holy Spirit was not symbolized as the peaceful, meek and mild Dove as in most other cultures. Instead the Celts chose the Wild Goose (An Geadh-Glas) to symbolize how the Divine may enter into our human world, selves and lives, uncontrollable and untameable as it directs us, with that Wild Goose Spirit guiding us with a strong, loud and sometimes challenging honk rather than the soft cooing of the Dove.
Brigid coming through me once talked of “Wild Celtic Mary,” a version of Mary that spoke to my own soul so much more deeply as a strong and beautiful example of the Divine Feminine than the traditional version of Mary as such a mild and quiet feminine presence. The Holy Spirit as symbolized by a Wild Goose does as well. My own feeling is that we’re here on Earth to live lives that are wild, untamed and completely free and the ancient Celts just naturally seemed to understand that, which is why I now feel such an affinity with them and do celebrate my Irish heritage and roots.
In his afterlife experience as related to me in our energetic communication, Tim’s love of Ireland and the Irish continues, so it hasn’t surprised me that he and Brigid seem to be dear old friends and frequently come in to visit me together. This was the case as St Patrick’s Day neared and what inspired me, with their encouragement, to begin sharing on my blog once again. So here are a few of the things that these two recently had to say, compiled from several different energetic conversations I had with them both:
Brigid: "Cead Mile Failte beloved ones! It is I Brigid coming in in this now moment of time that crosses the dimensions through time and space and beyond to shower you with love and to share communication that crosses those veils of dimensional realities.
St Patrick’s Day, the anniversary of my own initial energetic connecting and communicating with and through Maureen, is upon you. And indeed St Patrick’s Day goes far beyond the myth that has become the modern day version of St Patrick. It is not what people imagine it to be, and yet, there’s an energy with it that connects all who feel any draw to the Irish soil and Celtic history and lineages that so many have been a part of, to remember their roots and to bless and honor their Irish connection with respect and joy and laughter and celebration.
In regards to what has been lost of the ancient wisdom and ways, realize that wisdom may go underground, that the people who carry that wisdom may allow it to be dormant within for lifetimes, but it can never be completely lost or eradicated.
I wish to encourage you to look at this year’s St Patrick’s Day as a true renewal in the sense of ancient wisdom being brought into the present to be acknowledged and realized in all new ways so that it is reborn in the now, so that it becomes new again as you move forward from here.
So many are understanding now that celestial events carry great energies and they have immense impacts on the Earth herself as well as those who walk and live and love upon her. The equinox this year that welcomes spring to the north and fall to the south in the hemispheres of this planet is a very potent one. It is not an accident that this powerful eclipse window opens on the day of your equinox. It is not an accident either that the second eclipse in the window occurs on the day before your celebration of Easter. In the realm of bringing Christ Consciousness to the planet, there is a correlation between your Holy Week story, Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday, of life, death, and resurrection. But before the resurrection there must be a period of quiet, a period of time in the tomb (or chrysalis). This is mirrored for you in this eclipse window and this year’s Easter will be extremely significant energetically as well as in consciousness. Trust the process and trust the rebirth and the resurrection that are coming with this very potent energetic celestial cycle.
It has been a long winter for so many and in many places on the planet there are ice jams in rivers that have resulted from the frigid winter weather and all the snow and ice that accumulated. And now, many places are dealing with flooding as warmer spring weather begins to arrive and while this is not always welcomed on the human physical level for it is challenging for those who live in these areas, the analogy of it to what is happening on the level of spirit in your own lives, the symbolism, is very apropos for what is happening and about to happen for those of you who have endured and yes survived what has seemed to be such a never ending winter of the spirit in your lives on Earth. So many of you have struggled and been challenged with one difficulty after another, with one loss after another, until seemingly you do stand with empty hands and often feeling empty hearted as well. And yet the message of Spring, the message of Easter, is that the world awakens once again, life is reborn, and indeed resurrection of the spirit takes place in the symbolism of death and rebirth that is known as Easter. Your cups and your hearts are refilled once more.
St Patrick’s Day is a day that is significant for many though they do not necessarily understand what it is that stirs them so about it except that it connects them to Irish roots, and indeed "Everyone is Irish on St Patrick’s Day" whether by blood or by choice. It is the ancient wisdom of the Celts and the Druids and their way of living close to Nature and their way of being guided by the Turning of the Wheel, the celestial seasons of the year, rather than by an artificially manmade calendar and clock that is what so many seek to return to and do not always know how.
So those of you who are the Edgewalkers, those who are the Changemakers who are going first in bridging worlds, bridging realities and the way life is lived here on Earth in this now moment of time, have reached a place of recognizing that living by society’s traditional standards is often too challenging to the heart and soul and kills the spirit rather than nurtures and enlivens it. It is not always easy to be the ones going first who leave the traditional behind when the new has not yet been completely created, led only by the passion to embrace new ways of being that are sustaining and supportive of life rather than diminishing and draining of it. And yet to those of you who have had the courage to seek this, I wish you to know that you are about to experience a major breakthrough in your creation of the new. This is a very potent time energetically, celestially and astronomically, and many of you are aware of this. Allow this doorway that is opening now to be the portal to the new for you. Allow that once through this portal there truly never will be any turning back and that is said to you in the most joyous of ways!
St Patrick’s Day is a holiday of the spirit, a celebration of the heart and soul of what those who have lived this way of life know is the most nurturing and life giving way to live. Celebrate this and as our dear Tim says, in ways that go far beyond green beer and parades…though I encourage you to please do remember to celebrate The Green Man too! Allow your hearts to be opened by your own remembering. Allow your blood to be stirred by the ancient knowledge and wisdom that still flows within your veins where it is encapsulated and encoded within your very DNA. You do remember that there is a better way. You do remember that there is a way to live in greater joy and harmony with the Earth and all who live and dwell upon it. And here we do not speak only of the humans for there are many other forms of life. So many of you are aware that there are elementals, there are faeries and devas, even if catching a glimpse of them is fleeting at best, and yet know that their presence is becoming easier to detect. Some of you are capturing this with your digital cameras. Some of you are aware of orbs and of unexplainable lights. You are opening this portal between dimensions by your belief in the ability to break through these artificially programmed boundaries.
Remember to keep the home fires burning and that as always means to stoke the fires in the hearth of your own hearts. Live in peace! Live in love! Live in joy! And let each day be a celebration! And know always that you are dearly dearly loved!"
Tim: "Transition is the theme playing out on Earth right now. So many people are going through such huge changes in their now, as my Mom herself is acutely aware from personal experience. And it’s appropriate. It’s meant to be this way because of the choices made on the soul level prior to coming to Earth and incarnating in this particular lifetime. And as my Mom also knows better than most others, this lifetime is not like other lifetimes that people have lived previously…and I knew this too before I came in as Tim! We are in the process of Earth moving beyond the linear 3rd dimensional time frame that has been accepted as the truth of the reality on Earth for so long. All who are on Earth are living more than just one experience in the now. Most simply are not aware of it since the Earth reality is accepted as the only reality. As a human, you can’t completely wrap your mind around the expansiveness of a soul’s multi-dimensionality because it isn’t a concept that’s part of mental human awareness for most presently living lives on Earth. It is the essence and reality of the soul though, and the soul is, at least while present in human reality, accessed much more easily through feeling state than through any thought processes you can ever come up with mentally. Brains are a wonderful gift to be able to think with, to be able to process mentally the way that humans can do (which I loved doing myself as Tim!)…really wonderful and yet there is so much beyond that, though that’s what human reality has been based on for eons. Now you’re moving into a new reality where your thinking and your feeling states are able to work together with each other, they’re able to complement each other, and yet what this new reality truly is about is letting feeling state takes precedence over mental state, letting your heart and your feelings guide you and lead you forward rather than just letting your brain do that. The old ways of calculating the best plan and path forward for a life based solely on mental parameters is coming to an end.
The point now is to allow the balancing of the old ways with the new ones in creating lives of happiness and joy. And this leads into the theme of St Patrick’s Day, for the ancient Celts knew that they were connected to the sun and the moon and the stars and the celestial cycles of life here on Earth, and that there’s magic in that. And they gave much more credence to feeling state than to mental thinking. That’s what I loved in my life on Earth as Tim and that I was drawn to in my love for all things Irish. It’s not just about green beer and parades on St Patrick’s Day! It’s about the return to an ancient knowing that can now be brought into present reality and it will guide your lives in a much happier and more joyful way than anything solely of the human mental thinking state ever could do. Know that I will be very close this St Patrick’s Day and my Tim element will be raising a glass in toast for sure! Yet also know that I encourage the remembering of what the ancient Celtic tradition stood for and honoring and celebrating that more than just partying with green beer and shots!
I also want to let my friends and everyone who loved me and knew me as Tim know that I am celebrating St Patrick’s Day with you in the realm that I am in now with great joy, with wild passionate joy, and yet in a new way. So much of the partying and often overindulging that takes place on St Patrick’s Day on Earth is because there is a disconnection from the eternal source of natural living and natural joy and well being that comes with being connected to the land and the cycles of both the Earth and the stars, as the ancient Celts were. This is why when I was on Earth as Tim, we, my friends and I, all loved to camp so much, to go out in Nature, to sit by fire, to laugh together, to soak in the moon and the starlight. It’s magic and in the everyday struggling to make a living and survive according to the standards of mass consciousness human reality, there is a constant disconnection from that. Tell my friends that the best way to celebrate St Patrick’s Day is by reestablishing the connection to the natural realm. Sit by a fire again. Drink in the night sky, the moon and the stars. Celebrate the seasons and the Turning of the Wheel as Brigid calls it. Celebrate yourselves and be free and wild in doing that! Let go of the restrictions that have been placed on humans and society which are completely man made and were put in place by those who sought control and to be in power by having power over others. Choose within your souls to let go of this! And to never kneel before anyone else who walks the Earth as you do, whether through politics, religion or the legalities of state and government and the functioning of society. Be free!
You all know that I was a great music fan during my time on Earth as Tim and one of my first breakthrough moments with my dear Mummy was sharing our mutual love for Bob Marley. Remember that powerful line…”Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our mind.”
Free your minds, my friends! And when you do that you free your hearts and your spirits as well.
I love you all! I am joyously happy in my experience of the now moment and I encourage you to be joyously happy in your own!
Happy St Patrick’s Day! And Slainte!"