Now I’m getting ready to return to the US and resume living. In so many ways I’ve felt as if my own life stopped when Tim exited this Earth for more heavenly realms. I’ve felt as if I’ve been holding my breath since the evening 2 years ago when the phone call came in telling me of his heat stroke and subsequent coma. This summer in Alberta has allowed me to finally exhale. Now I’m ready to start breathing again and feel alive once more after having spent these last 2 years in a state of much needed hibernation along with a suspension of real living.
Yesterday I had a good day as I texted back and forth with my daughter on her birthday, then talked to her on the phone while she waited to board her plane at the airport for a long weekend with friends. Tonight they will go to a concert with Tim’s favorite bands playing as she decided it would be a good way to honor her brother on the 2 year anniversary of his passing. We both loved that the concert fell on the exact date of it. Tim sure did love his music and it seems so fitting that Erin be immersed in the music that he loved so much as she marks another year without the brother she called her best friend.
Last night was a bit different from the day for me as my mind took me back to how I spent the night of Erin’s birthday 2 years ago on the full blue moon of August 2013. I had left his bedside in the Medical Intensive Care Unit of the hospital he was in to try to get some sleep in preparation for what was to come. It was becoming clearer and clearer that Tim’s spirit had already left his body and wasn’t coming back. He was scheduled the next morning for the medical test that would likely definitively show that he had no brain activity and then he would be removed from life support. I still marvel at how thoughtful he was in his passing to wait until his sister’s birthday was over as it was just after midnight that I got the call that his blood pressure had dropped precipitously and he probably wouldn’t make it til morning and the test. So his brother and sister and I gathered around his bed in the wee hours to officially send him off with love.
I got into both music and wine last night and the combination made me weepy. Anniversaries can do that, along with just about anything else that is a strong reminder of someone we love who is no longer with us here in the physical. Eventually I drifted off to sleep, then woke in the very early morning hours to see the clock flashing indicating there had been a power outage. I went back to sleep and when I checked the spaceweather site in the morning I saw that we had also had our first M class flare in 45 days, breaking the cycle of quiet that the sun has been in. Both happened close enough to the time of Tim’s official death 2 years ago that I wondered if there was a connection. He had my attention! As soon as I did wake up, I could feel his energy strongly and knew he was very close. The first thing I heard from him was “Mom, I don’t want you to spend today being sad! I want you to be happy today!” I really had to laugh as it is certainly a bit disconcerting and takes the wind out of the sails of one’s grief when the dear departed directly addresses you with this kind of admonition. What could I do but tell him okay, I’d do my best.
After months of not a lot of action in my world on the interdimensional communication front, these past couple of months have once again seen an uptick in these kinds of energetic conversations for me. Tim comes around frequently, as does my husband Dickie who departed his life on Earth 25 years ago next Tuesday the 25th, Ziggy, and numerous other departed relatives and friends as well as the ‘spooks’ whom I’ve not known in physical form in this lifetime, like St Germain and Tobias and Brigid et al. When I feel my interdimensional doorway being knocked on, I take out my recorder and invite whoever is there in for a conversation. I’m very sensitive to energies and generally can easily tell the difference as far as ‘who’ has shown up and wants to communicate with me. I’ve had some great conversations of late but have simply been too low energy to do anything about transcribing them and sharing them through blog posts.
Well, in our last conversation my baby boy let me know that it was time for things to change in that department. Let’s say that today I basically was told “Time’s up!” as far as lolling around grieving. Lol. It’s time to get on with what I’m here on Earth for and a good part of that role is sharing with others. Nothing like having yer arse kicked by your ‘dead’ son and being told to get your rear back in gear!
During Brigid’s last visit she encouraged me in this direction as well telling me that I am moving into an all new phase in both life and the communication I do and that it’s no longer necessary for me to do word for word transcribing when I share posts but can just rely on the combined energies flowing through me to guide my words as I write up the messages I’m receiving in blocks of energy with distinct vibrational ‘signatures’ attached to them. I’ve been told all this numerous times before but quite frankly I’ve been too low energy/lazy to put the effort into composing posts in this manner and have always found it simply easier to just transcribe and share verbatim what came through. Apparently that’s no longer going to be condoned by my etheric pals though and I am being pushed in the direction of using the gifts I have in both how I can translate energies into communication and how I can string words together as my own personal art form.
Sometimes I really do enjoy sharing what has come through word for word when those words are particularly good so I’ll continue to include them as feels appropriate to me. I just will also do a lot more free flowing writing of my own to share as well. After being steered in the direction today of getting a blog post up to honor Tim’s anniversary today instead of crying in my beer (or wine as the case may be!), I did transcribe the last 2 conversations we had and intended to print them out as I’ve done in the past for ease of choosing what to include in a post. I had to laugh though as when I went to print them the printer was completely out of ink and would not do so. Just a couple of days ago I printed out my current proof of car insurance and while I knew it was low on ink, the printer did a fine job with that with everything on it completely legible. I found it rather ironic that it worked so well then but would not do so now and only offered up blank pages. Okay Tim, I get the point! So here goes.
Tim chose the subject title that he wanted me to use for this blog post. He thanked me for the experience we shared during this lifetime in which he came in as my son and I was his mother. He assured me that it was just one of many that we have shared and that we will continue to have experiences like this, but in different roles with each other, over and over again because we are so close on the soul level and we both enjoy sharing the experience of life with each other so much. He pointed out that while during this particular lifetime I have experienced the deaths of so many loved ones, which might well appear cruel and unfair on the human level, this was a set up that I agreed to on the soul level before I incarnated in this lifetime as Maureen.
“This set up was in place for you to open up to awakening in the way that you have…for you to expand your own consciousness first to be in the place to be able to share with others what you have learned and grown into and what you now know as truth. And that truth is that consciousness continues forever! There is no ending. There is no death to be feared. It is simply a change of form.”
“I am as alive and well as I always was previously in my body as Tim. It wasn’t the body that made me Tim. It was my consciousness that made me Tim. And that is what is eternal along with what you call your soul. But truly it is more consciousness than anything else.”
“Do share that incident you had in the back of the car that time you were at the Icefields with Ziggy and Denise when they went hiking and you stayed and napped. That is exactly the kind of experience that can explain what happens. You woke up not connected to your body. You woke up connected to the experience of knowing you were consciousness and you simply didn’t know where that consciousness was focused for a moment or two. “
So I will share. One year a while back, Ziggy and I were planning our yearly camping trip to powerful and magically beautiful Banff and Jasper National Parks for the June Solstice. Our friend Denise made the trip up from New Mexico to join us. The trip started out well with our first night spent with our tents pitched by a peaceful river in Jasper, but the following night of the Summer Solstice, a Friday, was a very different experience. The campground we were at in Banff was filled to capacity and there was a rowdy bunch of partying campers who kept the entire place up all night with their drunken noise and rudeness. There was no park ranger anywhere to be found to put an end to it so the entire campground experienced a very non-restful and sleepless night. We had intended to spend another night in Banff but in our bleary-eyed state the next morning, we decided to head back to Jasper instead. We took the Icefields Parkway, which its website describes as:
“The Most Spectacular Journey in the World!
To travel the Icefields Parkway is to experience one of Canada's national treasures and most rewarding destinations. Stretching 232km (144mi.) through the heart of the Canadian Rocky Mountain Parks World Heritage Site, this world-class journey offers access to a vast wilderness of pristine mountain lakes, ancient glaciers and broad sweeping valleys. This special travel route winds its way through two national parks, boasting a unique and irreplaceable landscape rich in history and natural beauty second to none.”
I completely agree with the description and would encourage everyone to see this place at least once before you depart the planet! But since I’d been there a number of times previously to soak up the beauty, I wasn’t as enthralled in my sleep deprived state as Denise was on her first ever visit. She was sitting up front in the passenger seat while Ziggy drove and played tour guide and she was enthusiastic about hiking up to the ancient glacial icefields when he told her about that and pulled into the parking lot. I on the other hand just wanted to take a nap and see if I could recoup at least a little of the lost sleep from the night before so as to make it through the rest of the day. I waved goodbye to them and curled up in the back seat and then was gone, gone, gone. I was out cold and really went into a very deep sleep.
When I started coming to a while later, I was completely disoriented and my first groggy thought was “I don’t know where I am.” But it wasn’t the kind of not knowing that you get when you wake up in an unfamiliar place and don’t know where you are or whose bed you’re in. Instead it was a complete blankness and a veil across everything except my own recognition of myself as consciousness. I was aware of “me” but nothing else. That lasted for a few brief moments and then awareness once again returned to me. I remembered that I was in a human physical body and that body was identified as Maureen and that Maureen was waking up from a nap in the backseat of Ziggy’s Jetta.
Wild!
I am pretty sure that my momentary experience in the backseat at the Icefields was similar to what happens when consciousness leaves the physical body behind at the time of death and moves on into its next experience.
Tim went on to say: “My consciousness is now focused in truly joyful exploration. Being in a body is hard! It’s hard work! Being on Earth is a mixed bag. (laughter) It is a blessing in so many ways because there are things you can experience on Earth and in a physical body that there’s no comparison to anywhere else. And yet to have agreed to forget who you truly are, to have agreed to feeling disconnected from your grander Self, your grander consciousness when you enter into living on Earth in a human body can definitely be a very challenging experience. And we miss people when they aren’t with us. So much of my entire life was shaped by my missing my Dad (who died when Tim was 4). But again it was set up this way, with soul agreement, with conscious agreement prior to incarnating, for personal growth and expansion but also for service to others as well in what can assist in their growth and expansion.”
“I’m highly involved in music here in the dimension we can call it that I am in conscious awareness occupying in this particular now moment of time. I am interacting frequently with those that you consider to have died…my Dad of course, Mike (http://maureenquinn.blogspot.ca/2009/04/easter-story.html), extended family members and friends, but as you are aware dear Mummy to interact with my grandparents is a bit different in that I was my own grandfather. It is getting to be time for you to share this in whatever way feels appropriate.”
So here goes on that!
Through the course of my own lifetime and the experiences I’ve had, I’ve come to realize that things don’t necessarily work the way I used to believe they did or I was taught that they did. My career in holistic health led me in the direction of becoming a hypnotherapist and the experiences I had while in private practice were pretty incredible and certainly mind boggling to the mind that was programmed by mass consciousness belief systems. While training for certification I had some amazing personal experiences during past life regressions that connected a lot of dots for me and the past life regressions I did for others in my practice just continued to confirm for me that we do not only live once.
I was very close to my father, whom I adored and who died of Parkinson’s Disease when I was 18, 2 years after my mother had died of cancer. He was a beautiful soul/man who loved Nature and taught American History at a high school in the town I grew up in. He also loved dogs and was an avid gardener. One of my greatest joys as a child was hiking in the Connecticut woods with my Dad who always had interesting stories to tell and so much to teach me. He had spent WWII as an army intelligence specialist in the European campaign and had come home from the war with some post traumatic stress from having participated in the very bloody Battle of the Bulge. He was a genial gentle man with a poet soul and I can only imagine what all that brutal fighting and killing did to him. Eventually he got himself to AA and I could not have been prouder of getting to call him my Dad.
My Dad had also been a very fun guy and I could listen endlessly to all the stories he had to tell of youthful forbidden escapades that still brought up a great deal of mirth in him in the retelling. One was about BAB…which was the acronym for ‘Bare Arse Beach,’ where he and his buddies went skinny dipping. Apparently as he, John ‘Red’ Dunn, himself disrobed, his friends would sing “Johnny lost his pants doing the Hoochie Coochie dance!” to the tune of some popular Egyptian-themed melody of the era. I ate it all up.
My Dad, not particularly an athlete, still did enjoy playing some sports, one of which was ice hockey during the long cold New England winters. He was my grandmother’s baby boy though and she had a fear of his getting hurt and so had forbidden him from playing ice hockey because she thought it was too dangerous. He went ahead and played anyway, figuring he would just keep it a secret from her. That worked until the day he got hit in the mouth with a flying hockey puck which damaged the nerve in his front tooth to the point that the tooth turned brown and remained discolored for the rest of his life.
When Tim was a toddler of about 18 months, he had been having a great time playing by climbing up the back of our sofa and rolling down it, something I actually remember doing myself as a toddler too and greatly enjoying it. He ended up falling off and doing a face plant on the hardwood floor beneath it. His mouth with little baby teeth hit the floor hard and his front tooth turned brown, exactly like my Dad’s. For the next 7 or so years Tim walked around with the same brown front tooth that my Dad had had and it struck me as rather uncanny at the time.
Later when I studied hypnotherapy and past life regressions, I found that frequently a person will bring some identifying physical characteristic from their last lifetime into their present one. And there are often other similarities that come through as well. As Tim grew older I noted how much like my father he was in his love of Nature, dogs, and gardening. Tim was also incredibly smart, just like my Dad had been, but this didn’t always show in his school grades. I laughed out loud once when he told me what his grades were for his semester’s courses at UNM, which were all B’s and C’s…except for the A+ he got in American History.
Oh, and my Dad loved music too. He played piano awesomely “by ear” in a way that I so envied and wished I could do too. He told the funny story of how he couldn’t read a note of music. When he was a child his mother was paying to send him for piano lessons and he just couldn’t ever quite get reading the notes down. So he just listened really well to whatever his piano teacher played and then practiced all week playing it back by memory rather than by reading the sheet music. When he was finally found out, his mother’s response was “What am I paying for lessons for then?!” lol. The music was just in him, like it was in Tim too.
I have no doubt that we do come back time and time again to share experiences with those we love. I know ‘Tim’ and I have done this. I am moved beyond words when I realize the depth of the love that had this particular soul incarnate with me, not once but twice in this lifetime, first as my beloved father and then as my beloved son. I’ve even come to accept that our pets reincarnate to be with us again too and I am certain that Danny Boy, the beloved English Setter of my Dad’s in my childhood also returned as Rita, the Black Lab so beloved by Tim in his childhood.
Consciousness continues forever and so does love!
Tim continued: “I told you that I’m working with music. It’s actually really more about frequency and working with the higher frequencies of what on Earth you call music. It’s not quite the same thing in the dimension I’m in now but it is a way to transcend the seeming barrier of being in different dimensions.”
“Now you’ve seen how music can transport you. Music does that and smells do too…to smell something that reminds you of something or someone also transports you…you know Mom from being a hypnotherapist it’s a quick way to access your subconscious through a familiar smell. It’s the same thing with music and frequency. It assists you in connecting to what is beyond your present ‘reality’ in 3D.”
Tim pointed out how I frequently do connect with him via music. He then went on to say: “Mom, our connection is constant, as you are becoming aware. We’re always energetically in touch unless you turn it off, and you know the things that do that. It’s definitely the lower denser energies that often come about due to moods that are less than peaceful or happy or joyful.”
“You’re getting to the point of moving beyond this, Mom. You’re getting to the point of moving to and into the place where you can continually be connected to any energy in any dimension that you choose.”
“I don’t want you to be sad today! It’s time. Time to move on. It’s time to really start our work together. And our work together has a lot to do with helping people change the way that they look at death, both their own and that of people that they love. Of course you have to go through the human emotions. Of course you grieve when someone that you love is no longer physically with you, but all that’s been happening on Earth, what you came to be a part of Mom and others did as well, is moving beyond life as you’ve known it of it just being a 3D experience. You are expanding into multi-dimensionality and this is what you and I are here to share, my dear Mummy. We’re here to share a multi-dimensional experience. You know that you’re communicating with “me” in as real a manner as you ever did when I was in physical body and now I’m always available to you. It’s not dependent on us being physically in the same place or having to pick up the telephone. I’m always with you! You can communicate with me all the time! And you know this. Now others may be skeptical. That’s okay. Share what you have to share for those who will be open to it and don’t worry about the rest.”
“Let people who are missing me know that I don’t want them to get lost in being sad. Mom, if you share how easily you can communicate with me now and how I did directly instruct you to not be sad today, it can help. It can help a lot of others. You know this is part of what it’s about to move into the new Golden Era that you’ve talked about, that you know is being created. This is part of what it’s about to be able to access those that you love in whatever dimension they’re in.”
“You and I are a good frequency match and this is why you are able to connect with me the way that you can. You’re a frequency match to many of the energies of the beyond 3rd dimensional realms. You can share with people that the higher they raise their frequency, the easier it will be for them to communicate with anyone that they’ve loved who’s no longer living in a physical body on the planet.”
“The light that’s flooding the planet now is assisting everyone’s frequency to be raised. And you saw that chart on Facebook this morning that shows that the frequency of the Earth itself has been raised. This is going to continue. It is going to be a very interesting time on the planet as you move into the month of September and you can see that things are starting to move with the solar energies picking up again with today’s M Class flare.”
“Encourage people to tune in to the music. Tobias told you that nothing connects you between dimensions more than laughter and this is so true. And it is why we love to laugh. But music…music connects you between the dimensions too, so remember that. Listen to the music that connects you but also be aware that when you feel sadness in listening, it is a heavier frequency than when you feel joy in remembering a heartfelt connection through music. And when you remember the connection joyfully it’s much easier for there to be real touching between the dimensions and communication of the heart and of the soul and of the spirit.”
He ended our conversation by telling me that I honor him so much more by being in joy than by remaining in sadness and that this is true for everyone who loves someone who has passed on to their next experience. So I intend to continue to keep myself in a joyful place today as the highest honoring of my beloved Tim and I will be connecting with him through the music again as soon as I have this posted.
Oh, and just a little while ago when I took a break from writing, I walked into the living room to find that my Bose music system, a gift from Ziggy, was spitting out and then pulling back in the cd that was in it, over and over again. It sometimes ejects the cd in it after the power has gone out and come back on, but it doesn’t then pull it back in and it hadn’t been doing it this morning after last night’s power outage. I had to laugh as the cd that was in it was one that Tim had made and given me.
From Rebelution’s ‘Courage to Grow’…”We’re feelin’ good, we’re feelin’ alright!”
Yes I am. And I hope you are too!
